Dad's Army Old Time Radio

Command Decision Series 1 Episode 3

sipero — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 08:38:03 GMT

We present arthur, though john lemisula and clive dunn in dad's army episode, three command decision featuring john laurie and james beck with this week's guest jeffrey lumsdon. There is the latest news, and this is john snag. Reading it with hitler's panzer divisions, pushing the allied armies ever closer towards the beaches On the northern coast of france. The skies over southern england are filled with the screech and wine of diving fighter planes locked in mortal combat. But let us not forget to those gallon citizens on the ground who, returning home after a hard day's work, go straight out again to parade as local defense volunteers at the church hall in wilmington on sea members of the local platoon assemble for the evening parade. Hey! Hey johnson, are they here yet hello, mr fraser? I want here yet not rifles. Well, what do you think all we get is promises see we're becoming a laughingstock man marching about the old knives and forks to I don't who gets a stick? Our kids run after me just now shooting can I borrow your toast and fork mister. I know I know you know one of them offered to lend me his cap pistol. I hope he sent a bucket. No. I took it oh good evening, mr man, red evening. Mr Wilson, david jones, any use of the rifles, mr man. No, but it's only question of time. Jones i've sent another letter to ghq couched in the strongest terms, they're bound to exceed to a request from front blind troops like ourselves very good shot. Other men ready for parade, yes, yep right for the carry on then wilson. I said all right: everybody would you mind falling in. Please I've got attention, i'm sorry, mr wilson, yeah! Well, you better! Try that again! Chelsea! I think yes, i'll get the hang of it. In a minute, all right, but stand at ease. Sorry, sorry all right attention jones! Yes, mr wilson, do try and keep up with the others. Yes they're, very good, mr [ __ ]. All right squad stand out eat. I'm sorry about that. Mr wilshere. All right! Once again start attending trump. Yes, no, it's murdering! I. I think it would save time if we settled for that. Yes go on to the next bit. Oh yes right! The squad, president corrector and ready for your inspection. Thank you sergeant, right, hey will we be having the rifles soon very Soon, I hope fraser and god for that wilson come here? Yes, sir, can I detect an undercurrent of dissatisfaction from the men? Well, yes, it's probably because they haven't got new rifles. They don't really feel, like you know, proper soldiers. No, I understand that i'll have a word with them boost their flagging spirit, house man. I know that you're worried about the Rifles not easy being a frontline fighting force armed only with picks and slaves, but rest assured, I shall not cease from mental strife until those rifles are in your hands. I promise you, you will have them before the week is out no, mr mandarin. What would we do without you you're our inspiration? Sir. Oh come now jones one just tries to do one's best, [ Music ] Come in! Oh listen! Yes, sir! Any news from jhq ruin other things. I know I i think you were a little hasty last night, sir, when you promised the men, you would get them rifles before the week was out. Well, I had to say something must keep the morale up somehow yeah, there's a colonel square to see you, mr mentoring, girl square. Did he say what he wants? He just said he Must see you on the most urgent military matter. Ah wilson, he must be from ghq with news about rifles. Send him in straight away. Do you really think he's coming about the rifles? Oh yes, now you can see how important it is wilson to have a commanding officer like me, who carries some weight to the top brass. Well, no one would dispute that you carry weight, sir. What do you mean by that? Well, especially With the men? Yes, exactly, I promise there's a promise and I never break my word. Ah i'm colonel square. You must be main-wearing, oh, how to do colonel. Actually, it's pronounced mannering. Then why the hell do you spell it? Meanwhile, a lot of nonsense sit down colonel. Ah. Thank you. Thank you Now. What exactly is the situation? Well, i'll, come straight to the point. The warehouse haven't found a job for me. Yet though, heaven knows it shouldn't be difficult for the man of my experience. Four years in the desert, fighting johnny turk, you know 1915 to 1918 you've heard of elohs hello, ross man eros. Now what you see in your mind's eye when I say that word is, I really don't know? I mean anything to you, wilson! Well, uh he's not the chiropodist; you know he used to have the shop in the high street. Didn't he? No, you full! I'm talking about arabia. I served with him. That's what the arabs used to call him. Sometimes they called him pasha. That means great chief. You know they used to call me pasha as well.

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The Enemy Within the Gates Series 1 Episode 4

sipero — Wed, 01 Sep 2021 11:01:24 GMT

We present our fellow john, the messiah and episode 4, the enemy within the gates featuring james beck, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest carl jeffery here is the latest news, and this is john snag. Reading it day after day, in this beautiful summer of 1940, the raf fights For our survival in the skies above britain. Meanwhile, on the ground for the home guard at warmington on sea, it's a red letter. Captain madden ring captain manning. What is it bottoms? What are you talking about boy, our uniformed trousers and capture? They've arrived? Why don't you say so in the first place, where are they, mr wilson? Just bringing them in sir, give me a hand pack all right, mr wilson, ah there we are, shall I impact them? Mr man, oh yes, yes, let's have a look at them all right. Have you signed for the wilson? Yes, sir, there should be 29 pairs of trousers here, there's 14 of us. That means one and a half pairs each. How many caps spike um one shoulder this? Could cause trouble wisdom? Perhaps You forgive the one without a cap, an extra pair of trousers? What good would that do? Well? There could be, for you know, a special river crossing squad, sir, once on the other side, they could change into the dry lines. I mean I will exercise why only on exercises. Well, i'm sure the sight of you and your underpants will dumb nerve. Even the ss miss berlin. I've got an idea, yes, mike, as we've only got five rifles. We're supposed to let the one without a cap have a rifle all the time. Well, that will only upset our rifle rotor. What's more, the man who has a rifle doesn't have a water bottle so that in turn mess up the water bottle and I can't alter all the rotors. I agree: you've taken great pains with the muslims. Yes, sir! Well, they take a lot of thought. It's about time, someone else drew them up, take it in turn. For me, yes, Good idea, draw peru. Why don't you let me take back one of the extra pairs of trousers to gh2 and swap it for a cap. Good idea. Do it in your own time right right, listen, we better sold some trousers out. Do you think it's fair, sir helping ourselves before the others get a chance, not a question of helping ourselves just to make sure of a good fit for him as commander of the platoon, I can hardly be seen in baggy fence. No, sir christ. What's this, it's a zip, sir shouldn't be in the front this one's at the side. Yes, quite right, so I mean you wouldn't have a fly at the side. Could you it's not very convenient? Is it hello? What's mattering here? What's up? What's up? Oh! Oh! Yes, sir, Ah I see sir. Yes, thank you very much been a slight mistake wilson. These trousers weren't meant for us who were they meant for the ats [ Music ]. Oh dear, oh dear we're steady on mr godfrey. What was the journey? I thought that was going to be late. No, no, we haven't started yet I say you're. Quite a stranger. I've been looking after my sister. She said her accounts were old Trouble water on the knee hello, mr godfrey here, are you all right? I haven't seen you for a while, oh hello, mr walker, i've been looking after my sister yeah she's had a nasty attack of water on the knee. You know the best cure for that. What a tap on the egg now listen, listen, listen! We shouldn't say things like that: yeah, it's not proper, gentlemen. We have good news. Today we have an issue of field service camps. We also have an issue of uniform trousers, however, into a slight error: they've got to be changed now after the command fall out sergeant. Wilson and lance corporal jones will issue the case sam wilson. Yes, we'll take one house of platoon jones, you take the airline all right, sir private walk up, come and collect your cap blimey. You don't expect me to stick one of those on the head. Do you you can Stick it where you like me, i'm just the man that gives him out right. Then i'll have a six and seven eighths. Please you'll be lucky. It's large or small. Oh all, right give us a large there. You are oh yeah. Listen if anybody's interested, I know a geezer who will order them for us for four and six at times, take it or leave it, leave it right next now, what would you like, mr godfrey? Oh a small one, please there you Are! Oh! Thank you by the way and which side do you wear it on? Well, you wear it on the right side godfather. What? If it is it's not my best side. Does it suit me? Well, yes, if you're going to retreat and put it on back to front, you see oh yeah right after you finish gather round tonight. I want to deal with the subject of enemy agents. As you know, they're being dropped in all sorts of disguises nuns, peasants, police. They might even be disguised as british army officers come up to you do stupid instructions.

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The Battle of Godfrey's Cottage Series 1 Episode 5

sipero — Wed, 01 Sep 2021 11:15:52 GMT

represent arthur lowe, john, the messera, the battle of godfrey's cottage featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender. With this week's guests bill pertwee, man, bronton and percy edwards. Here is the news, and this is john snyder reading it. It is now the summit of 1940 and with the possible threat of a german invasion Becoming stronger every day. Home guard units are on special alert at warmington on sea. Captain mannering has taken over the novelty rock emporium on the sea front and intends to use it as a forward command post this evening he is busy putting the final touches to a diagram on the blackboard. Ah, that should do it good evening, sir. Well, hello, really! Sorry, yes, yes, I wanted to finish this new better plan. Oh just a touch of plethora and cheers i'd rather rush, my meal this evening. For that sir try some of this. What is it jones bicarbonate, the soda cell? Nothing like it. I always carry it with me. No really! Yes, I got nabbit when I was in the sudan, general kitchener was very keen on it. You know boys used to say he Always called us that always keep your vein sharpened and your bicarbonate of soda ready and then you won't get the wind up. Oh, we had a very dry subtitle sense of humour in those circles. If you wanted to you just, let me know what it is up good evening. Captain mannering come in got here, fraser find room at the back somewhere. Thank you. Now it's going to be a little crowded with a whole platoon in the small shop, but it Is early for this evening. Excuse me, sir. Yes, I don't think you ought to remove that sharp belt. It's a bit of a nuisance, a bit of a nuisance. Yes, where's your imagination, wilson they'll, stop the enemy from taking us by surprise. I never thought of that. No, no you're, all right back! I haven't started yet. Oh good, now just put your bike outside with the others boy, there's No room for it in here. I have my laugh huh. What is it pike? Oh mum's, not gon na. Like me leaving my back in the street, you know I might get pinched just use your toe. We should stop young pike, calling you uncle arthur. It's very bad for discipline. You know. I'm honest, I said is, but it's really not my fault, you see when he was a little boy. He used to call me in something else. You see and uh I mean this is mrs pike. I told him to call me uncle to stop him. Calling me something else: what did he used to call it daddy, we'll have a word with mrs pike and see if she can encourage him to call you sergeant instead, at least until the war's over all right all right now, and can I have your attention? I've asked you to pray here tonight at the novelty rock emporium, because in the event of an invasion, this shot will be Our commanders, our nerve center. Hey you! I beg your pardon who's in charge here, oh captain mandarin over there. What is it wilson? What's this man, sir he's asking who's in charge, I told him you were quite right wilson, who are you anyway? Oh, this is my name and i'm the arp warden for this section, and I want to know what all those bicycles are doing outside they belong to members of my platoon. I don't care who they belong To get him shifted. I don't think I like your tone. Don't you well i'll, try it in a different tone of shifting how's that don't you think you're all exceeding your authority! Section 4, paragraph 2 of the defense of the realm max states, no vehicles or any other means of transport will be left unattended in a useful condition. Don't you realize those Bicycles could be used by enemy parachute troops? I'm well aware of the situation. I take steps to see that it is attended to you better mate, otherwise i'll. Let your tires down yeah they're thinking about my tires and i'll leave my shop. I've never had my command post as well. I'm going but don't say I haven't, warned you now and, as I was saying In the event of an invasion, this is the plan. As soon as you hear the church bells, you will proceed at once. The novelty rocket forum, which is marked here on this diagrammation [, Music ] emergency - you would on a rifle here, be split into two sections. I should take one half some wilson take the other. The first section will then move off to the crossroads here. One mile away now this is a vital strategic position. He who holds the crossroads, builds warmington on scene. Now we need to establish a machine gun post and I think the ideal place would be god for scotland here you don't mind, mind watson, Haven't you been listening? Oh i'm sorry, sir. I was asking if we could use your cottage as a machine gun post deliver their sister, though that's right, sir, the trouble is she's getting a little obvi with the advancing years and she was in bed when the invasion came and she'd. Take one of her tablets: she might not be able to let us in haven't you.

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The Armoured Might of Lance Corporal Jones Series

sipero — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 13:18:34 GMT

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A Stripe for Frazer Series 1 Episode 8

sipero — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 10:43:33 GMT

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Operation Kilt Series 1 Episode 9

sipero — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 10:54:23 GMT

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Battle School Series 1 Episode 10

sipero — Sat, 04 Sep 2021 11:51:25 GMT

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Under Fire Series 1 Episode 11

sipero — Sat, 04 Sep 2021 12:21:19 GMT

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The Armoured Might of Lance Corporal Jones Series

sipero — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 13:18:34 GMT

we present arthur lowe, john, the and clive dunn in dad's army, [ Applause ], the armored might of lance corporal jones featuring john larry and james beck with this week's guest bill, pertwee, pearl hackney and richard davis. Here is the latest news, and this is john snyder, as nazi aggression continues. The hun is Prepared to stop at nothing in his relentless determination to become the master of europe. Even the use of nerve gas is not beneath him ever alert to these eventualities. Captain mannering, commander of the wilmington on sea home guard platoon, is breathing his men on the hazards of gas water. They are all wearing gas masks now the glasses that you will have to Contain are must have safely endeared and cleaned, and that concludes my lecture on the various types of guesses that the enemy will be liable to use anything wanting you who isn't the speaker, what Did he say was I wouldn't quite catch it? I can't understand the word you're saying take that gas mask Off better. I said I couldn't quite catch it, sir. I don't know what you said. I want to know what joe said all right. Jones uh captain manny, wants to know what you said. I said to mr speaker. Thank you. He must permission to speak, sir. Well, of course, he's got permission to speak, asking what he wants to say. What do you want to say jones or call your word? He said he said he couldn't hear a word that You've been saying. Sir, he's never heard a word of that lecture. I gave what did the rest of you hear? Well, i'm not going over all that again, all right, remove your respirators and put them away. We'll continue this lecture tomorrow now I want to introduce you to a new weapon. You see this piece of wire. Can anyone tell me what it is? Hi, it's a Grocer's cheese cutter, correct, a harmless cheese cutter but probably applied. It can become a deadly weapon. I'll give you the story of how I got the idea for using this as a weapon. Is this going to be a long story? I was wondering if the men should stand easy. Oh, yes, very! Well, all right man, all right stern! Is it All right, sir? You can carry on now. Oh thank you now. This is an example of improvisation. At its best, a few days ago, I went to get the week's rations for my wife and myself from the grocer's as he cut off our meager ration of cheese. I thought why am I getting such a little piece under the wire cut through the cheese it turned from a lovely, yellow, cheddar to a nasty white limb burger And as it dropped off the cutting board on the marble slab, it then turned into the head of A nazi paratrooper, that's it! I thought just the thing for dealing with enemy, sentries creeper behind him, then you lob the wire on his neck. Like so and pull it tight result, instant decapitation, he doesn't even know: what's happened not until he nods his head. What did you say, I said he'd be better off in bed, sir. He would indeed so it's from the neck pull tight. Instant decapitation. Excuse me, sir, what is permission to be sick? That's not like an old campaigner like joan he's all talk. He's got no stomach when it comes to the real thing. I can't understand he's feeling sick. Just because I mentioned the competition he just doesn't like trees now pay attention. I just received a communication from jade's cool saying that there is not enough cooperation between the arp and the home guard and that in future we must both work together for the common cause. Yes, thank you, sir good job also says that the chief warden will Be calling on us tonight to discuss various means of cooperation by the way who is the chief warden wilson? Oh it's that terribly common man. You know, mr hodges, you know he banks with us hodges. Well, how can they make him chief warden man's a green grocer? That's right! Yes, he's the one with the dirty fingernails. How do you know he's got dead fingernails? Well, I can see them every Time. He pushes his takings out of the grill. He keeps the shot next to me, sir, and ever since he's been made chief warden there's been no holding a man. You're right, fraser he's become drunk with power. It's a nasty bit of work here, so you want to put your foot down otherwise, before you know where you are he'll be taking over from you, i'd like to see him trying all right. Well, then who's in charge. Here You know perfectly. While I was in charge of him as hard just can't, how do you do as far as i'm concerned you're still the bank manager and wilson's your chief clerk? I can't forget his face every time I go to the bank with my takers. He gives me a dirty look that matches his nails. What did he say? Nothing? Oh! Yes, you want to keep those blokes in line mannering. Do you mind not prodding me like that I'll do more than pot. If I get any more smart remarks, now have any structures that we're supposed to cooperate so i'll just tell you once I want this all every wednesday evening for arp lectures got it. I'm sure.

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The Showing Up of Corporal Jones Series 1 Episode

sipero — Sun, 05 Sep 2021 11:41:36 GMT

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Something Nasty in the Vault Series 1 Episode 12

sipero — Sun, 05 Sep 2021 11:43:36 GMT

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The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Walker Series

sipero — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 01:57:03 GMT

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Sorry, Wrong Number Series 1 Episode 15

sipero — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 01:58:13 GMT

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The Bullet is Not for Firing Series 1 Episode 16

sipero — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 12:24:06 GMT

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Room at the Bottom Series 1 Episode 17

sipero — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 20:45:00 GMT

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Present Arms Christmas Special Episode 21

sipero — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 14:30:06 GMT

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No Spring for Frazer Series 1 Episode 19

sipero — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 11:14:09 GMT

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Don't Forget the Diver Series 2 Episode 22

sipero — Wed, 08 Sep 2021 02:08:46 GMT

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Present Arms Christmas Special Episode 21

sipero — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 14:30:06 GMT

We present arthur lowe, john, the metro and clive dunn, and a special edition of dad's army present arms featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender, with today's guests bill, petty bell: hackney larry, martin, jeffrey lumsden, jack watson and norman bird. There is the news - and this is john snyder reading it. It is december 1941 and as christmas approaches and hitler Continues his attack on europe. It is obvious that at this season of goodwill, no breaking hostilities can be expected for thousands of men on active service. It will mean enforced absence from their families. Even the home guard will be carrying on their regular duties. This evening, captain manoran and sergeant wilson are going to be busy in the vicar's office getting on with the paperwork. Well, if there's any help i'll mix the paste that'll do That. Captain man has asked me to give you a lecture on bayonet drill. Now, remember lads, there's no substitute for the old cold steel. They don't like it, which I mentioned to you before many times. Many millions just be quiet in the racks I will not have talking while i'm talking now when it comes to bennett bill. Very important thing to remember is your screen. Now the scream is the thing that really Puts the wind up the enemy. Now you fill your lungs up to the air and let it out like this [ Music ]. Now I want you all to try some screaming mr jones. If we all start screaming weren't the upset, mr man, in an uncle after their paperwork. Don't you concern yourself with them: [ __, ] they'll be too busy to worry about us. We've got all those requisition duplicates in date order yet wilson. Yes, I almost said just in the last dozen sir. That's nearly 500 of them just look at that it as well. I can't see very well from here the typewriter's in the way hold them up anyway. I see now, look yes, I don't know you have to start again now. Would you ever sorry, sir? Another shaken by that terrible noise. What are they doing out there? They're? Not they do it a little practicing quietly, because I can't do it quietly. It's action, that's what that is action with the capital, a who is this mind you're, showing a bit more action. Sometimes wilson doing a bit of streaming, that's well! Somehow I don't think screaming is quite my style. I sometimes wonder just what is your style? I I completely forgot. This parcel came For you just before you arrived it's from girls details! Oh good good! This must be the new hat. I ordered just come in time for the ceremony of church played on sunday there. What do you think [ Music ] I do if they didn't have to be quite so noisy out there, it's so difficult to concentrate. Well done! Your turn walk up aim at the dummy's chest. What's your jonesy? Oh really, I think i'll just pop into the hall sir, and ask them to keep the noise down a bit. I wouldn't, if I were you wilson, they put the practice dummy up just outside the office. You might turn out to be their first real target. I say: well, that's! Perhaps it isn't all that bad after all, you could be next pipey all right. Yes, I really am terribly pleased with This new hat. I shall definitely wear it at the parade on sunday now, let's see, I better put it somewhere safe for the moment. Well, there's a nail behind the door, sir, oh yeah vicar can go to hell. Well, that's not very likely, sir sorry, mister name, your stupid boy. Look what you've done to my hat! Look at this hole! Oh dear, with your head in it! This is a new hat. I won't be able to wear it in the church play now. Will I not if it's raining that'll do answer that with all right momentum? 3. 3. You really should be more careful like the three miscommanders, your wife, sir tell them, i'm not him! She just heard you shout him hello, elizabeth! Yes, yes dear well, I know dear, but the fact is, I just couldn't stand Sleeping with you any longer down in the shelter we haven't had any average for months there, just a minute elizabeth, don't stand there, golfing boy get out. What's that what we can't come and move the bedding back into the shelter now it's out of the question. What? Oh? Yes, Very! Well, elizabeth! Yes, goodbye goodbye! I'm finished! I have to go with some i'll leave you to dismiss the parade. Yes go, sir. I quite understand i'll just slip out of the side door that should explain to the man that i've been called away on urgent business all right, sir good night right now, we'll move the dummy up the other end, But we don't have no more accidents evening. Corporal oh yeah that captain main wearing in yes, no, don't bother i'll just breathe in evening sergeant hello good evening, captain square captain bane worrying about um he's been quoted by our nurse in business. Can I help you in any way? Yes, You haven't by any chance got a where does main wearing keep his whiskey. He doesn't drink it extraordinary. In that case, I will stay locked.

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If the Cap Fits... Series 2 Episode 23

sipero — Wed, 08 Sep 2021 08:48:56 GMT

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Put That Light Out! Series 2 Episode 24

sipero — Wed, 08 Sep 2021 14:00:11 GMT

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Boots Boots Boots Series 2 Episode 25

sipero — Wed, 08 Sep 2021 20:00:26 GMT

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Dont Fence Me in Series 2 Episode 35

sipero — Thu, 09 Sep 2021 02:00:02 GMT

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Sergeant Save My Boy! Series 2 Episode 26

sipero — Thu, 09 Sep 2021 09:15:02 GMT

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Branded Series 2 Episode 27

sipero — Thu, 09 Sep 2021 14:00:29 GMT

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The King Was in His Counting House Series 2 Episode 36

sipero — Thu, 09 Sep 2021 20:15:00 GMT

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Mum's Army Series 2 Episode 33

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 04:15:01 GMT

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A Soldiers Farewell Series 2 Episode 30

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 10:15:01 GMT

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War Dance Series 2 Episode 32

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 15:45:01 GMT

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When Did You Last See Your Money Series 2 Episode 37

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 22:15:00 GMT

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Fallen Idol Series 2 Episode 38

sipero — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 04:15:01 GMT

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The Day the Balloon Went Up Series 2 Episode 41

sipero — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 10:15:00 GMT

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The Godiva Affair Series 3 Episode 44

sipero — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 15:45:03 GMT

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Keep Young and Beautiful Series 3 Episode 45

sipero — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 22:15:01 GMT

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Absent Friends Series 3 Episode 46

sipero — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 04:15:00 GMT

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Round and Round Went the Great Big Wheel Series 3 Episode 47

sipero — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 09:15:01 GMT

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White Hunter Series 3 Episode 48

sipero — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 15:15:00 GMT

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The Deadly Attachment Series 3 Episode 49

sipero — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 22:15:00 GMT

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My British Buddy Series 3 Episode 51

sipero — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 04:15:00 GMT

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The Big Parade Series 3 Episode 53

sipero — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 09:15:00 GMT

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The Two and a Half Feathers Series 3 Episode 65

sipero — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 15:45:01 GMT

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Gorilla Warfare Series 7 Episode 3

sipero — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 22:15:00 GMT

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Gorilla Warfare Series 7 Episode 3

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 03:58:18 GMT

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Ring Dem Bells Series 8 Episode 1

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 04:15:01 GMT

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When Youve Got to Go Series 8 Episode 2

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 10:15:01 GMT

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Resisting The Aggressor Date 1969-12-25

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 10:24:38 GMT

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Guarding Buckingham Palace Date 1970 05 24

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 10:43:39 GMT

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Broadcast to the Empire Date 1972 12 25

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 16:15:01 GMT

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Resisting The Aggressors Date 1969-12-25

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 22:15:01 GMT

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The Bullet is Not for Firing Series 1 Episode 16

sipero — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 12:24:06 GMT

We present arthur john messera [ Applause, ] episode, 16. The bullet is not for farting featuring arnold ridler, with this week's guests, graham stock, frank williams, michael knows, and timothy bates [ Applause. ]. Here is the news, and this is john snag. Reading it as a consequence of incessant heavy raids on britain by the german luftwaffe That ever vigilant band of men, the home guard send out their patrols ready to catch any enemy. Parachutist fool hardy enough to land on british soil at the command nerve center of the vickers office of the church hall at warmington on sea. The platoon commander, captain mannering and sergeant wilson eagerly await the return of their patrol [ Applause, ], [, Music, ], [ Applause. ]. What time is it uh? It's about six o'clock, sir? Oh 1800. No, sir! That's at night, [, Music, ]! Isn't it night? No! No! It's the morning, oh, who is it, did you uh? Did you drop off, sir? No? No! No! No! I thought you did. I mean your eyes were closed. I was just resting the muslin. I wasn't asleep very far from it. Well, you see with all the responsibilities you have, sir. I wouldn't blame you for taking 40 weeks. I did not take 40 winks wilson. Well, i'm sure you were a hundred percent alert all the time, sir. I was even if you were snoring. That's enough. The turtles will be back soon go get the kettle on sir. You got any matches well, there should be some out in the hall right after you, sir. They need a hot drink, four devils. After Being out all right. You know I i I think it's a bit absurd. You know where they get us to stand too, just because someone reports seeing a parachute, I mean who's to say it wasn't one of our pilots anyway. Well, that's hardly likely is it well? Could you pass me? The castle please here we are, I mean we shoot down literally hundreds of their planes, but you'll notice that you very rarely read about any of ours Being shot down. Do no, we don't read about it, sir, no sir, but surely common sense tells you it must happen. Sometimes I know what any of that sort of talk here was some of those planes on their way back to germany were obviously stricken. One was basically touching the rooftops, the one that was loosing off his machine gun from the smell of it. I think they must fit the gas works. You haven't let the guest ring. Oh, oh man, right wheel, take them out. There pick them out. There come back from patrol sir baker jones now just hand back the ammunition. Ah, we haven't gotten answers. We haven't got none. What have we done with it? Well, I have to report so that we engaged in enemy plane with rapid fire. Sir, you did what it was So low. You could almost touch it. Jones ear was fixing his brain. Your shot was one of those walker positive sarge. Definitely, yes! So we let him have it right up. Sir and sir, I have to report. He did not like it, so he did not like it, they don't like it. You know, sir, and he was weaving from side to side and then he disappeared with black smoke coming from his engine nasal, sir, oh you mean you think you shot him down well either. I saw those two spitfires on His tail. This hairs jones, you know perfect. Well, we only have five rounds each if the enemy flings himself from others tonight, this platoon will have to stay indoors. Wouldn't it oh, so we still got the bayonets. Haven't we and I still have my round sir. Oh how's that golfer well, you see, I put them in a little pocket in my camel hair Cardigan the time i'd, undone, all the buttons on my overcoat and that's just blows. Are they well the the cleaning house down the street? Yes? Well, one hardly knows whether to be pleased or sorry about that. That's what the button doesn't work, this morning's great coats. I don't know whether anything can be done about it again. I'll fix that, for you in a jiffy Charge, your bob each it's very reasonable to me. If a new button holds, he doesn't do that he files down the old button. That'll do walker we'll have to report. This switch to wilson meanwhile attend two rifles: the kettle's boiling, oh [, Applause, ], that's good news, i'm absolutely dying for a cup of tea. Tea comes later girlfriend. Our first thought must be for our weapons they need pulling through and boiling out here hold on a minute we're all gasping. We've been on stag all night, we've been on our toes all night too. Haven't we? Yes, sir, in a manner of speaking now with a front line fighting unit, our first thought must be for our weapons. They get the first water, pull them through and boil them out Right. I'm just going to make a report to hq, get it on son. That's it right. Uh fall in your traps, yeah yeah. What a lot of pull jumps here. The insides of the rifles can wait. The inside of me can't I don't want none of that. Bulshy talk, you know, walk up, we'll do what captain henry says. Even if it is a lot of balls, all right i'll start putting your rifles through your chats Will you well could have.

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Room at the Bottom Series 1 Episode 17

sipero — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 20:45:00 GMT

represent arthur lowe, john, the bachelor army episode 17 room at the bottom, featuring john larry and arnold ridley with this week's guests, john ringham and jack watson. Here is the news, and this is john snag. Reading it. The date is 1941. The nazi menace, like some giant octopus, spreads its tentacles across the face of Europe from the frozen wastes of russia to the rolling atlantic. Here in our island fastness, the gallant men of britain's home guard determined that our streets shall never echo to the of jack boots. Strive diligently to protect our heart and home at the church hall wilmington on sea headquarters of the local platoon sergeant wilson is in the side office when an officer from ghq arrives. Oh good evening, captain turner good Evening sergeant where's captain mannering. Well, we have the um auditors in the bank, so captain manager had to stay behind to tear up a few points. Oh I see well, i'm afraid I can't wait for him. I've got to call on two other units in the area and perhaps you could give him a message for me. What's that listen yeah, it's a bit! Awkward, really tell me: how long has mr mannering been a captain? Well, uh: ever since we started sir, you mean when you were local defense, Volunteers, that's what I said, but there were no commissions in the ldv, but where does it well? No, of course, not um. How did he get to be a captain in the first place? Well, he uh he uh sort of made himself one sir. Oh did he mind you there's been all sorts of ranks in the home garden, we're only just starting to sort it all out. Well, i'm very sorry and all that, but he Never was a captain and he can't walk around with three pips on his shoulder. He'll just have to take one of them off. You must tell him as soon as he gets here. Yes, sir, all right. Yes, sir i'll do that, you can also tell him i'll confirm it in writing in the next few days, very much all right, good night sergeant good night, sir and your left tenant. Oh dear, oh dear, fancy that oh, mr manning, let's see now, how can I Put it to? Oh i'm afraid i've got some other bad news for you mannering! No, that's not good uh! No, not! Okay! I'm entering you better, brace yourself for a shock. One of those pips has just got to come off. Okay, those hopeless, absolutely hope we must keep it short. That's the thing keep It short, that's the best way good evening, lieutenant mannering you're all right. Oh, here's and oh good evening slanted sorry I i I i didn't hear you come in. You usually talk to yourself. No, no! No! No! I! I was just thinking aloud by the way you were pleased to hear that I managed to get that drill sergeant. Hmm. What drill sergeant told really wilson do you remember? I said the platoon was getting a bit sloppy anyhow, this champ's coming on friday to give the man an hour's drill, should be pretty good from the cold stream guards. Oh well, that's something to look forward to isn't it, sir. Yes and wilson. I've killed you before don't go wandering around with your battle, dress, color, i'm done, and your cuffs rolled up like that you're, not one of the brill cream boys. You know i'm sorry, sir, by the way uh captain turner left a message for you. Oh he's been here heading yes, sir, but he couldn't wait. What do you want? Usual red tape? Nonsense! I suppose. Yes, sir, he says you've got to take a pit off. Is that all what did you say he says you're, not really a captain, sir you! You should only be a lieutenant incredibly funny wilson. Oh no! So no, no, No i'll! Settle this i'll, get on to ghq right away up start happening. Hello escape 106! Please! But he's got nothing better to do you know, listen. Sometimes. I think that hello is that gh cool. Ah it's mannering him mannering, captain mannering warmington on c Platoon, but i'm sorry tomorrow. There seems to be some mistake. Captain turner was here earlier on this evening and he left some peculiar garbled message. What? Yes? Yes, of course it's just possible. My sergeant could have got it wrong. I see actually yes, quite absurd. Of course. Yes, something about taking a pip down yeah Yeah yeah. I thought so yes, thank you very much. What's the game wilson again, sir? Yes, the game, what's the idea of saying that I wasn't a captain making me ring up ghq like that? What sort of fool do you think I look, but who did you speak to sir the sergeant in the office because he didn't know what I was talking about huh. Well, i'm waiting for your explanation. You know i'm forced to say that you have confirmed a suspicion. That's been in my mind for some weeks now for very sir. What's that that you're jealous of me wilson jealous sir, oh, don't think I haven't noticed the way that you keep looking endlessly in my office's hat. My insignia. Don't fool me, you know for a minute.

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No Spring for Frazer Series 1 Episode 19

sipero — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 11:14:09 GMT

epresent arthur lowe, john le mans, around five done in featuring john larry james beck and ian lavender, with this week's guests, jeffrey lumsden and michael knowles. Here is the news, and this is john snag - reading it. It is now june 1940 and the war carries on without mercy, as germany tries to show her supremacy in britain, the part-time volunteer army Now called the home guard has readily swung into the routine of parading. Every evening after work at warrington on sea, the first platoon d company is no exception. Anderson oldham's church hall, the parade is just starting with sergeant wilson, putting his men through their paces, stand at ease. I thought that whole movement lacked uh, try and verve a bit more sparkle into it. Right now, dude Oh come on come on corporal jones, maybe been i'm sorry, i'm late sergeant, yes well falling in trouble in time in the future yeah I wouldn't have been late. Mr wilson, but you see the awful comes today and then said no suit. Yes, all right, all right all right, it's been one of those days. Yes, yes, yes, we have to get on with the parade. You know. Despite of the absence of your stewards, I promise mrs frost of the wbs. You see She was doing dumplings, you see she don't like the lads to go without their dumplings, all right, all right. The lads think very highly of mrs process. Dumplings all right return to advanced shut. Yes, yes, yes, how are you all standing there for you know what this is? Don't you it's a raffle in it, it's a warning that the Enemy are attacking with gas. Now, what are you waiting for? I thought the arsenal were playing at home, we're still at attention it's up to sergeant wilson. At the end, they have to take his finger out hi, sir. You will not use that sort of expression concerning my ncos, either on or off parade that understood. Yes, good at the same time, wilson, I think it is up to you to take it to Take some action. I'd say yes right, but gas attack gas attack on the command fallout put in the gas mask all right. [ Music ] come on come on, come on, you'll have to be quicker than that. You're. All choking right now come on walker. What's the matter with you, yeah i'm having a bit of trouble with the case, mr marion. It's the strap well come on cut your feet creeping into your Lungs. You can't breathe, oh come here, give it to me: no, no! No! No! No! It's all right! Welcome. What have you got in there? Whiskey, sir whiskey, you realize you could be caught marshall for this. What is for sergeant wilson, wilson, oh yeah, what are you going to say about these Bottles? Uh? Are these bottles yours or are they not well yes? Sort of what kind of answer is that? Well, it's not all mine, sir. Only one bottle I see who else is in this conspiracy? Put your hands up right sergeant, take their names, that's rather difficult, sir, but their ghost mask on. I can't see their faces. It really was. I never knew a man like you for making excuses. Well, I suppose I Could put little chalk crosses on them and take their names later sergeant. These are fighting troops, not alibaba and there's 40 thieves. How would it be, sir, if you declared the gas alert over all right right now, once again right now, which of you asked walker for this black market stuff? Put your hands up now, take their names wilson either. Yes, Let's see now jones got free. Fraser, hey: is there a regulation that stops the scotch man from buying whiskey you're back in the place? What else have you got in here? Your sagasa, shall I add the name mannering to the list. Sir leave it for the moment to be you chaps. I want you all to practice getting into Your guest mask in double quick time, so they've hit the death bull discounted weapon at us, it'll be a no ball. Did you hear that junji, if he pulls it'll, be no ball? What a load of blade that he comes with stop talking in the next freezer corporations, carry on supervising the guest basketball, very good tip, you know come on go! I want you to shove, your mushy smartly, into the face Friend wilson. Now I i bought myself something today. I've got an opinion on it there, new hat. What do you think? Oh I say? Oh, it's rather dinky. I think this salt for the beak suits me better than the porridge cap. Oh yes, yes much better! Yes! Yes, your face doesn't look nearly so round and moon like as it Normally does. Yes, you do so much for you, I i. I really think I must get one. Oh, you can't do that these are for officers. Yes, I might have guessed anyway, wouldn't suit you. The jonesiness of the forage cap off sets that craggy care worn undertaker manner of yours much better. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Who's first out on patrol tonight, uh well um. According to the rotor, it should be Young pike, but his mother has reported him sick. I didn't think you were speaking to the pikes.

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Boots Boots Boots Series 2 Episode 25

sipero — Wed, 08 Sep 2021 20:00:26 GMT

we present arthur now john le measurer and clive dunn in dad's army, [ Applause, ] boots boots boots featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest. Eric chitty here is the news, and this is john snyder reading it with hostilities. Continuing on an ever widening front, More and more of our gallant young men answer their country's call to fight in strange and foreign lands, but as they leave these shores, they do so secure in the knowledge that the defense of their homes and loved ones is in The capable hands of the men of britain's home guard at the church hall at warmington on sea captain mannering is addressing the local platoon and so to sum up, Whatever mode of transport we use, be it bicycles, jones's, van or other forms of vehicular transport. In the end, it all boils down to one thing: the three x, [, Music, ], fast feet, functional feet and, last but not least, fitch feet. Sergio without his feet is useless. Therefore, during the next few weeks, we are going to concentrate on getting our feet fighting fit now i've managed to get hold of two diagrams on feet issued by the royal army medical corps and if, if you just throw this one wilson writer, what I describe my Diagram now This is what a healthy foot should look like. Here is the first metatarsal, mr speaker, yes, sir. Well, sir, I have not got a master puzzle. I've got a big toe. Metatarsal is the medical term for toe jones. Oh, thank you very much, sir. So there you have it first, let's travel, second, better travel, third, metatarsal, Fourth, better travel and, last but not least, the little big view where we wee all the way. That's what my mom called it when she cuts my toenails indeed, so there we have a picture of the perfect foot encased in the ideal boot. You see that plenty of room for the feet, no cramping or pinching. Now, in contrast, i'm going to let you see Something rather nasty right, wilson show them your foot. Now you see on sergeant wilson's diagram, we see what can happen to a foot in a badly fitting shoe. The tears are pink cramped covered with corns and bunions, not a pretty sight. Now then. The first thing I want to do is to inspect all of you to see that your boots are fitting properly. Yeah Show me all four: are my metatarsals all right, sir? Yes, they're very good, very good, ah go for it, lift your foot up higher higher than that look. I said it won't go any higher. [ Music ] right! That's a vehicle! Twitch got free that'll. Take you 20 miles. Thank you for Your confidence, sir trailer. That boot feels a little tight to me. Frieza. No, no fine time. Look up at gators! Oh, is uh necessary. Those are ordered, praises no well, there are young men, good heavens, why aren't you wearing any socks? I never wear socks, a man for the healing. There's! No need of Such fancy frequencies up there whenever molly coddle our extremities and if anybody makes a crack about celts, i'll straighten them down with this stuff, [, Music. ]. I need to worry about my pizza when I was in india. My feet were the talk of the continent. One day I was strolling nonsensely through pushback, it's a town on the northwest front. Here you know, sir, by Where the bizarre zombie weighs the river. I spied a young native girl doing a bit of derby, so I i quickly ripped off my boots and socks to wash my feet. You understand when suddenly the native woman started murmuring towards me, shaun de bahara, shonda bahara, he said, then I noticed something I hadn't noticed before she was stripped to the waist sir. They do a lot of that out there. So they can. You Know it's all right. All right, they'll feed, certainly in very good condition - I baked them in cold tea season tea. Yes, I learned that in the sudan always used to soak our feet in cold tea in sudan. What a good idea, indian or china, don't be insulted. Well then, it's quite obvious to me that we've got to do a lot of work to bring our feet up to scratch So starting next weekend, we're going to do a course of long route. Marches, [, Music, ], go well done. Man well done! That was five miles yesterday and seven miles today now on the command fallout. I wanted to take your boots off and have your feet ready for inspection in five minutes Fall out. Wilson come in the officer moment. All right! Yes, faster! That chair. Would you? Oh, it's better good to get the weight off one speed. Now then we'll snipe water in here because uh, I wonder if I might be allowed to sit down as well wow, Don't you feel? Well? No! No! No! No! I I feel defiant uh very defined. I've been like a little tired. Perhaps what's the matter haven't you been sleeping well lately? Well, not the last two or three hours you and I have a certain position to uphold in mr tuber.

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Branded Series 2 Episode 27

sipero — Thu, 09 Sep 2021 14:00:29 GMT

we present arthur lowe john le measure and clive army [Applause] branded featuring john larry arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guests bill pertwee and nan bronte here is the news and this is john snag reading it the war in europe continues and the tram of the nazi Jack boat strikes terror into the hearts of the people in the occupied countries but here in great britain those fearless men of the home guard make it their constant resolve that never shall our streets echo to that dreaded goose step it is obvious at the church hall in warmington on sea captain mannering is busy reading a letter while sergeant wilson takes the evening's parade all right attention now tonight We're going to do some stalking stalking yes talking that's what we're going to do some stalking other words how to creep up behind an enemy sentry in the dark stalking well it may interest you all to know that i am an expat stalker really huh at one time i was considered one of the finest talkers in the country i bet you were quite a chatterbox in the town i saw that in last week's bino sorry Well fraser as you seem to know something about this you could sort of uh you know what i mean sort of put us in the picture i'll do that no you must always remember to approach your quarry from behind and all the time you keep downwind of him why'd you do that mr fraser so that it doesn't he get your scent but what if you're not wearing any scent i'm talking about human scent son oh see No when you're creeping up behind a sentry you have to pick your feet up and put them down very carefully it's most important that you watch where you're putting your feet like when you're crossing a field of cows [Music] i can't tell you again now we'd better have someone to creep up upon i'd like to volunteer for that sergeant wilson i'd like to be the Someone you creep up upon no no jose you're always volunteering we'd better have someone else to take the enemy's centrist part i'd like to do it sergeant i'd like to do it i'd like to take the enemy century's path yes on wc we must give some of the others a chance uh now wait a minute uh godfrey uh yes sergeant well you could be the enemy sentry uh see you'll need something to sit on i'd like to volunteer to be there Something to sit on top please wilson come here a minute would you all right so i'm coming you wanted me sir yes close the door man likely to read this but it's addressed to you i know i know that read it honey It's from godfrey why did he write you a letter you'll soon find out so captain george mannering also commanding the first platoon warmington on sea home guard dear sir it is with much regret that i must tender to you my resignation only personal reasons i feel that i can no longer remain as a member of the platoon therefore i Must ask you to accept my two weeks notices that's from the end of the week i remained yesterday charles godfrey hmm well well it's a bit of he's going sir i mean we shall we shall miss him what do you mean it's a pity's going you can't leave just like that well i don't think i can stop it i mean he's given you two weeks notice this is war wilson Not the army and navy stall better go and get him find out what all this is about that's let's it a look at this rotor monday we're one section on patrol guesswork river bridge to the fair exchange at 2250 godfrey puts on kettle 2258 godfrey makes tea ready for return of patrol 2300 hours tuesday number three section patrol over to rock and pouring Leaves here 2330 arrives novelty rock and boarding 2350 makes tea ready for arrival patrol 2400 oh no no i couldn't possibly let him go as far to available come in i've got private garbage then you wanted to see me sir yes godfrey sit down thank you you too will oh thanks awful Now thank god for him what's the idea of this letter but it means that i i've got to leave sir you mean that you feel that you're getting a little too old for active service is that it well no not really sir and what's the matter well i got up the other morning slightly earlier than usual mind you i usually get up around about 7 30. you see i always make the early morning tea and then i take a cup up to my sister And to quite recently we've always had a special brand of teeth in the army maybe stores but of course it's it's on such a short ration there that to put up with anything we can get it's like i agree with you man some of the stuff we've been getting daily is terrible all those nasty little bits of tea dust floating on wilson but godfrey i don't quite see what this has got to do with leaving the platoon oh and Coming to that sir let me see now where was i we're just going to make the early morning tea oh yes when i went into the ladder to get the milk and then i saw something that made me realize that i just couldn't carry on what on earth was that a mouse mouse yes you see in the la there was a great big empty pudding basin a mouse had fallen inside it was running

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The King Was in His Counting House Series 2 Episode 36

sipero — Thu, 09 Sep 2021 20:15:00 GMT

I've done in dad's army, the king was in his counting house, featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest bill, pertwee larry, martin and wendy. Richard here is the news, and this is john snag - reading it. It is the summer of 1941 and the people of britain, with that indomitable fighting spirit continue to repel hitler's attempts to add their country to his long list of conquests. Even in these grim days, people sometimes need to unwind a little and captain mannering of the warmington on sea home guard platoon is planning a little get together for the men under his command from his office at swallow's bank. He is telephoning his wife, yes, elizabeth. I tell them to be around at the house at eight o'clock tonight. Yes, just a few sandwiches and some beer That should get them all in a convivial mood. You don't think we ought to give them beer. No, of course they won't get drunk and start smashing. The house up, my men, are not just hooligans minute. Elizabeth summers at the door come in, i'm so sorry, I i I didn't know you were On the phone. It's all right. Wilson have a seat, and thank you soon. I won't be in it just uh talking to the little woman, not okay, elizabeth, what oh, no, no, no i'm sure they wouldn't mind if you wore your siren suit. After all, winston churchill wears one not quite the same thing, no well, never Mind, but oh very well, then goodbye to you, i'm sorry about it. Wilson, just discussing tonight's party, I must say i'm looking forward to it. You know this will be the first time that I have visited your house. Well, we haven't done much entertaining since the war started. I thought the time had come for some of the platoon to get together in civilian Clothes and meet on equal terms. Well, that's very democratic, obviously, because I realize that it's even more difficult for you, wilson, as you're superior here at the bank and your commanding officer in the platoon. We don't get much chance to meet his equals. No, we don't say no! No, however, tonight you may call me george, thank you, sir, and I shall call you Arthur. Oh, that will be nice hurry up. Excuse me, mr, would you sign these letters? Please? Yes, all right! You measure wait, however, i'll do them now! Oh! Thank you, sir uncle. I am excited, aren't you? Oh, no, not really franca i've seen mr mannering sign letters before no, no, I mean about the party tonight. I'm i'm really looking forward to it yeah! Well, yes, yes, george has just been telling me all about it. George, who mr mannering, of course, wilson, I said you could call me, george at the party, not here at the bank slip of the town. Can I call you, george at the party, mr memories, Somebody just occurred to me. Let's hope it won't be tonight that the balloon goes up. Oh we're having balloons as well. I must say wilson, i'm really looking forward to 8 o'clock this evening. All of us gathered together in my sitting, room civilian curls in a nice happy relaxed, carefree atmosphere. Nothing like [, Music, ], [, Laughter, ], huh, [, Music, ], yes, well, nice of all to come. It's nice of you to ask us george hi, very nice, very nice. Indeed, i'm glad you were able to make it charles, it's a lovely party. Yes, I'm enjoying michelle. Sir. Definitely, sir! No, please please george, my name's, not george, so it's jack! No! No! I I want you to call me george jack. I said arthur look at the time joe's late, my goodness, so he is george well now uh. My wife will be down in a moment and then we can start on the refreshments. Yes, sir, looking forward to meeting your good. Ladies sir george, sorry george, you don't know what god three hasn't been knighted, yet [ Music ]. Ah I expect that's joe. Let him in pike, yes, mr mannarin, well, fraser, j, james how's business kind of complaining. I delayed the entity who ordered one of our best oak coffins. Her husband dropped down dead. Just like that one minute he was here the next minute he was gone. How terrible hey just about your age and beldy was joe walker and lady friend what evening you know sure, don't you, mr mannering, we have met. I told you, this was stan walker, i'll Talk to you later, oh pleased to meet you. I'm sure trust you to turn up. We are tapped, look at the pair of them. Yes, I am well your excuse. Well, i'm just going to see how my wife's getting on. Well, I must say, i'd have thought old. Mannering would have had a better place than this. I've never seen such a load of all rubbish. Hey, hey! No! Look! This little glass Ornaments! Now! Isn't it it's full of water? It's got little cottage inside it just and i've got one of those as well. They're. Very pretty you shake them hard and then make a snow storm. Really what that is. Oh yeah! Oh, so it does hey. Look, i'm glad.

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Mum's Army Series 2 Episode 33

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 04:15:01 GMT

represent arthur large on and clive dunn in dad's army mum's army featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guests, larry martin carmen sovella, morris sugden and wendy richard [ Applause. ]. Here is the news, and this is john snag. Reading it as the war continues more and more men are volunteering or being Called up for active service. Those ineligible for one reason or another continue to join britain's home guard units which go from strength to strength at warmington on sea. Captain mannering is seriously considering letting the female members of the local population also join. His unit learn standard. I pay attention before we dismiss. I have an important announcement to make During the last week sergeant wilson and I have been approached by several. Ladies, mr speaker. Yes, what is it? I just want you to know, sir, that i'm sure you can rely on the men's discretion. Sir, we're all men of the world don't be ridiculous, i'm referring to our local women folk. Oh sorry, sir. The good ladies of warrington on sea wish to offer us their services, that's Funny, it's usually the bad ones that do that i'll. Ignore that to mark walker. The fact is, these gallant, ladies wish, to join us in our fight against the common foe son wilson, and I think this might be a good scheme, don't be sergeant. Yes, we do so awfully good. Yes, it immediately occurred to me that uh they could take over some of the paperwork and the making of tea and Cocoa buttons button. Sir, you can sew on my buttons precisely yeah. It's very good point thanks. My sister is very good at sewing, so every point and all that sort of thing provided someone else will spread the needle well, thank you godfrey, but uh. I think perhaps we should concentrate on a rather younger age group. Excuse me, mr man, right there's a new girl at the sweet shop, she's very obliging. Ah now that That sounds more like the sort of girl we need. That's right comforts for the troops does have any of that sort of talk. Walker who got mad. There's a lassie. I know that watch for the gaslighting goat company she's, just sunset, weight-bearing girl, with a feram body and big strong thighs man as you'd - see them that way. Yeah, oh they're, very strong girls, mr fraser, the ones with the big thighs All right. Just a now, i'm sure between us. We can round up the right sort of material, just bring them along with you to tomorrow's parade, properly train. They will release us the frontline troops so that we can grapple with the enemy. I don't suppose taffy and jones here will have much energy left after great leaving with those big thighs, [ Music ]. Listen to that wilson sounds funny getting female voices out in the hall on parade night. Doesn't it yes it does. It does rather yes well, but I have the first one in all right, sir uh who's first place. I think we are sergeant wilson uh. This is missy spock! Oh yes! Yes, yes, mrs fox, good evening, good evening. I wonder if you'll be so kind as to come in, you think see. This is what an awfully humid day. It's been hasn't it. Yes, isn't it still you're looking marvelously cool wilson? Do you mind if we carry on i'm sorry, sir? This is uh. This is mrs fox. How do you do? Mrs fox? Nearly thank you, mrs fox, is one of my best customers, sir. I think you'll find you'll. Give every satisfaction. Yes! Thank you. Thank you. Well now, mrs fox. Oh, my goodness, how rude Of me, mrs fox, please please have a chat. Oh thanks now is there anything we can get you wilson, just a minute. Listen! I'd like a little word with you. That is, if you can afford the time. Of course, sir yeah, you will excuse us, you certainly thought vincent. What is it, sir? What is it? Look here, wilson, I know you're something of a ladies man, but these women are going to be subject To discipline like the rest of our force. Now, let's start, if we need to go on, shall we well? Surely we can be polite? I quite agree: don't have to have all this jet blue cannon stuff just stick to the business in hand. If you don't mind, yes, whatever you say, sir right, i'm sorry about that. Mrs now, let's just take down some details, fox Christian name, morsi. What a very pretty name do you think? So what I do, indeed, is one of my favorites wilson occupation. Mrs fox, we do is that an occupation. Well, in mrs fox's case I would say it was almost a calling wilson now, mrs fox, would you like to join us? Oh, yes, i'd left off good. Where are we going? I don't? Oh yes, I did highly comical. Thank you, mrs fox jones. Perhaps you take the lady back into the hall. Yeah it'd be my pleasure to do that thing, sir. This way, mrs box who's next wilson. Ah this is the young lady. I was telling you about sir ivy someways from the sweet shop. I was somewhere, yes, you remember, sir. She was the one who was very Obliging. Yes, thank you, wilson, now miss samways.

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A Soldiers Farewell Series 2 Episode 30

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 10:15:01 GMT

We present our fellow john, the measurer and clive dunn in dad's army, [ Applause, ] of soldiers, farewell featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guests bill pertwee, larry, martin and pat combs. Here is the news, and this is john snyder reading it. It is the spring of 1941 and never a day passes without hitler. Renewing his attacks on britain, however, the harder he tries, the more determined is the population that the streets of this country will never echo to the sound of nazi jack boots. It is late evening and down on the south coast. Captain mannering at his platoon are on a bus returning to warmington on sea. After a specially organized trip to the neighboring town hold very tight, [ Music ], Please what did you think of the evening? Well, I quite enjoyed it sir. I was surprised really because I i didn't think I was going to really why. Well, I i don't usually care for greta garbo, no, no elizabeth and I have never been very keen still. She obviously has a crowded following I mean the cinema was packed. Wasn't it yeah? I must say I was appalled by the behavior of the audience at the end. What was it? I've never seen anything Satisfaction all my life, everybody charging out like that during the national anthem. I thought at least you would have stayed wilson sergeant. It was your duty to set an example to the others. Well, I couldn't help it. Sir. I sort of got carried along in the rush. Really did you uh enjoy the film mr mannery not really walking. No, I would have thought a film about Napoleon would have been concerned with strategy and tactics. I'd hoped we could learn something from it. Instead of that, he seemed to spend most of his time chasing greta garbo on a four poster bed with that strategy and tactics. Isn't it well mr memory and I certainly learned something: hey jock: what did you think of that mary valepska never met up No joke. The film, oh, that oh rubbish, she rubbish a wanton waste of one and sixpence. Well, I liked it yeah. So did I joke yeah? I I like the part where napoleon was saying farewell to his troops. Hey, I know what hey, let's take it in turns to do an impersonation of charles boye. Whoever does it the worst has to pay the fares. That's a good idea. Party yeah! You stop! Oh yo, all right, um soldiers of france. Our cows is lost. Your emperor must now say goodbye with this kiss. Remember me that was rotten. It was this soldiers of france. Our cause is lost. Your breakfast now say goodbye with this kiss. Remember me You're supposed to be doing charles boyle, not harry champion right. Fine, if you step in here who was that's childish, moronic nonsense, i'll, be my unfair and no one else's. Excuse me, mr mandarine, do you want to do an impersonation of charles boyer? Don't be ridiculous? It's your turn! Then! Oh right, sir soldiers of france Are caught. You do it, i'm sorry, i'm doing an impersonation of frank, doing an impersonation with somebody else. You'll do nothing with us all right. Sorry, my sergeant is your duty to set an example anyway, it's very bad for discipline to do impersonations with the rank and file on the boss. Well, i'm sorry, i'm sorry! Mr man, We were sitting a long way back in the cinema weren't we. If I i couldn't see the screen very well, we should have sat in the ninth news, mr mannarin. No, no, no, no pike! No! I couldn't sit right down in the front in those cheap sheets, never know who's been sitting in them. Well, at least, if i've been sitting down there, i'd only have squandered nine pence. Not i'll. Tell you what, let's all, have a bit of a sing song. Shall we yeah good idea Yeah come on all together roll me over roll [, Music ]. Do you think so, sir face please any more fairs, please two to warmings will not see please two throatness. Thank you, sir. I really must apologize for my men singing that rebel song. Oh no, that's quite all right! I get far worse than that on my bus. Really Nobody just stressing for you, no i'm used to it. After all, there is a war on. That's no excuse for slack behavior. Oh, how very nice of you to think of me. I don't often get considerate passengers like you on my bus there. You are sir, two throttlies. Thank you. Yes, please. The charming woman was awfully. Nice must be very difficult. Dealing with men. Passengers will get over familiar yeah. Well, I actually think she could take care of herself, so she'd she'd probably give him a punch on the nose. I can see the clown she's a perfect lady. It's beautifully hard for her working as a clipping. Oh she's, only doing a bit, sir. I realize that wilson. At the same time, one can't help wondering if it's right, but the lady like her, should be exposed to all the riff raff that uses the late night transport Yeah.

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War Dance Series 2 Episode 32

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 15:45:01 GMT

john, the represent and clive dunn in dad's army, [ Applause, ] war, dance featuring john lorre, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest, larry martin pearl hackney and wendy richard [ Applause. ]. Here is the news of mrs john snag. Reading it, The threat of nazi aggression hangs ever present over britain as hitler attempts to break this island's indomitable spirit, although many things have had to be rationed, love is still free. At warrington on sea frank pike, the junior clerk at swallows bank is laying out the morning's post of the manager's office. There is a lady, sweet and kind was never faced so pleased my mind. I did but see her passion. I I didn't hear you come in. I'm not surprised anyway, you will learn to grow older pike, but the bank manager's office is no place for singing. I'm sorry, mr mandarin, you might hear me frank before I forget. I met jones just now. I'd rather gather the men are quite keen on the idea. You put up at last night's parade the home guard. Don't you mean? Yes, yes, uh. I think they were a little Surprised as well come to think of itself as I i don't see why you know what they say. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy jack, who said check nobody. You stupid boy anyway, a dance like this will make the wives and sweethearts feel that they're part of the grand effort makes them feel that we're all pulling in the same direction. We will be able to bring the friend in sir. Of Course you will. Who did you have in mind pike, one of your old boy scout friends? No sir, a girl, a girl, oh well, that's what dances are for us discussing with corporal jones he'll, be in charge of the invitation. Oh, thank you, sir i'll bring in the coffee in a minute right sacrifice. There is a lady pike. You know wilson, i'm far from satisfied with that. Boy's Work lately never stops humming. Well, I i think he's just happy, sir. Obviously people don't expect it wilson. Mr jameson was quite put out yesterday. He came about his mortgage, didn't he said. Yes, pack showed him into the office singing buddy. Can you spare a dime? I think perhaps he is letting his thoughts dwell too much on his private life. You're gon na be absurd. Doesn't have a private life, That's the boy. When he's 19, sir, I mean he goes out with an at and says very wise, it's quite chilly in the evenings. Oh no! No! No! No! No! An ats girl! Good heavens! You want to put us up to that wilson. No! No! Where they've come from yeah! Well, she's, a local girl, actually, sir she's uh she's on leave and her name is violet gibbons violet gibbons. Yes, I know that girl, Her mother, used to clean for us twice a week obliging us used to call it well now her daughter's obliging prank that girl used to work at the fish shop. Didn't she that's the answer? Yes, oh no, not the right sort of background at all wilson. What's his mother say she doesn't know, you'll have to speak to a muslim. Well, why me well boy hasn't, got a father, you've Known his mother, a long time you're the next best thing yeah! Well, just because she keeps my ration book, I mean I don't see why I have to act like a dutch uncle to prank. You know you worry me. Sometimes you do anything rather than face your responsibilities, you just won't grow up. Will you well? I mean you're, not a middle-aged chief clerk at all You're, a peter pan. I'm really sorry, I don't know how you ever expect to get your own branch. Well, be that as it may, sir frank pike is not my responsibility. Well, i'm sure a lot of people will be very pleased to hear that what do you? What do you mean by that? Well, none of my business. This is a very small town, wilson tongueswag, you know, People put two and two together. You and mrs pike arrived in the town about the same time, both from western superman and when you look at pike in a certain light, there are resemblances whole ideas. I've registered, I mean mavis would have mentioned it. Yes, right, i'm sure it's just idle gossip, but at the same time I think a word to the boy would come best from you. Well, I suppose I could chat to him brought you a copy, mr mandarin. Thank you wilson. Thank you. Oh pike. I have a meeting with the dance committee in the church hall, so don't take any appointments for me after three o'clock, very good right man now we're all busy men going about our essential work as well as being ever alert to defend Our beloved land, and I Therefore, propose that we share the organization of the function and each be responsible for one aspect of operation dance. I would like to second that, mr memory. Thank you, mr speaker. Yes, i'd like the third answer. Thank you joan now now what I ask myself, what are the essential ingredients? What do we need for a successful dance, The floor? I'm not asking for suggestions at this point to walk up now I see it. There are three requirements.

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Fallen Idol Series 2 Episode 38

sipero — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 04:15:01 GMT

we present arthur lowe, john, the measurer and clive dunn in dad's army, fallen idol featuring john larry, arnold redley and ian lavender with this week's guests, jeffrey lumsdon, jack watson and michael brennan. Here is. The news of this is jon, snag reading it as the war drags on into its second year, and the home guard comes to play an increasingly vital role in the Defense of our homeland. It is essential that they are kept up to date with the latest developments of the field of armaments. With this in mind, the warmington on sea platoon are on their way to a weapon training camp where the commanding officer and his sergeant major await their arrival. Is this the tenth the warming to the on sea platoon sergeant major? Yes, sir they're a bit late? Getting here? Aren't they? Oh, I understand they can't wear their own Transporter. Yes, they're very ingeniously same guard! Oh yes, sir! I'm very keen as well there's a bit too keen. If you ask me you're all right. Well, it's this damn stammer! I developed. I mean I i've been running the school of explosives now for over a year and it wasn't until we started getting home guards here for weekend courses that I got this confounded stan. You asked me, sir, you could deal with us want to leave, but the trouble is they're So mad keen I mean they charge about all over the firing range one of these days, they're going to blow themselves high high. Oh, that must be them now. Is it right we're here just embarkment come along. This lot sounds even more keen than the others. Oh lord. Oh all, right, sarge and matrix girl bring them in right. In here. Gentlemen, please thank you. Ah, i'm captain mannering first platoon Morgan cannot see home guard reporting for duty, sir. How do you do i'm a captain reed? This is sergeant wilson and lance corporal jones, hello. How are you, how do you do? I must say, we're all rather keen to get cracking. We haven't done any practice with live grenades before, oh, my god, [ Music, ], oh, haven't you! I can't wait to get my Hands on one. Neither can i, sir no stuff. When I was in france in 1914, I used to love them bombs over the top one after another. I used to do a lot of that sort of thing, so i'm loving you know, sir the mad bomber. They call me, sir, of course, i'm not really mad. I'm as sane as you are - oh, oh, really, yes and the nikon sounds comfortable - could come along far major right, sir he's a bit historical. Isn't he All right come on wilson, let's go and get our bidding uh young pike's, bringing mine in sir bringing it in yeah. Yes, we can't have people waiting on us in this platoon wilson we're a democratic unit. We all eat together, we'll sleep together and we all fight together rank shouldn't come into it easy betting class in future pike. You will not wait on sergeant wilson, we're all equal here. Shall I take it out again? Brian, don't be absurd. Oh mum says you're not to tread all over the sheet. She doesn't want any dirty foot marks all over him right. Man get your bedding laid out, i'm clustered [ Music ]. What is it have you seen, mr snuggly, mr who, mr snugly, my teddy bear [? Music, ] no frank, I haven't mum, told me she packed him. Yes, well, I i'm sorry, but I i haven't seen him well, I must find him. I can't get to sleep without him. He knows that I haven't got him. We'll have a look come on see if he's in your bed go on, have a look. Have a look back? Haven't cycled, let's see really. This is ridiculous. Wait a minute! Oh yes! Yes! Yes, here he is put him back. Don't let anybody see him what I thought you wanted him. I don't want anybody to see him. They might laugh at me, wrap him in a towel and pass him over all right. Well. Very well, then, wilson is that what we've got in that towel? [ Music, ] uh, mr snugly, Mr who, what my teddy sir my teddy just can't, go to sleep without him extraordinaire. Thank you. I'm claster, hey! What nothing are you doing? John cena, i'm putting up my mosquito net. There aren't any mosquitoes around the area, silly or fool. Well, I know that, but it goes with the sleeping bag. I've had this sleeping bag. Ever since I Was in the sudan, you know, as well as keeping out mosquitoes this net used to keep out the snakes. I can't believe there is a respectable snake would want to get into bed with you evening. Corporal captain main worrying about yes, captain square he's down the other end of the tent, mr manoran captain square's here to see you, oh lord, it's that terrible little boar again. I've forgotten that the eastgate return Were with us this weekend, hello main wearing hearing all right. Yes, thank you. It's uh! It's mattering! If you don't mind, i'm so sorry, oh boy! Yes, all my chips are settled in.

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When Did You Last See Your Money Series 2 Episode 37

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 22:15:00 GMT

we present arthur lowe john the measurer and clive dunn in dad's army [Applause] when did you last see your money featuring john larry arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest timothy mateson here is the news and this is john snag reading it England's green and pleasant land continues to be subjected to heavy bombing raids by hitler's luftwaffe even the little town of wilmington on sea on the south coast has not entirely escaped in fact two nights ago swallows bank itself sustained a certain amount of structural damage however the manager mr mannering is determined that a little bomb damage is not going to change the day-to-day routine Would you like to look at those accounts now that seems to me that uh just a moment wilson has it this is the manager office you know i didn't hear you knock no sir i didn't why not there's no doors really listen i've never known a man like you for making excuses and so i said well we say no more about it now but in future i'd like you to stand just outside the door frame By that pile of rubble and cough right well that shouldn't be very difficult all this dust about find you which is a bit drafting here close that window that's it no it isn't doesn't seem to have made any difference but it probably wouldn't you see there's a there's no glass left in it well anyway i don't know why you put up with all this discomfort i really don't Why don't you move into the stock room that's not damaged at all moving to the stock room look wilson we see this chair yes sir this is my chair uh-huh the manager's chair yes this is my desk the manager's desk and this is my office the manager's office i am aware of that sir I didn't become a manager overnight for those of you a long hard struggle office boy clark assistant chief clerk chief clerk assistant manager and finally manager took me 25 years to get this office wilson and no rednecked beer-swilling foreigners are going to drive me out of it by the way i think the staff are not too Despondent about the damage to the bank working around the debris as it were oh yes yes yes business is carrying on very much as usual foreign morning mr jones business as you should i see oh yes that's right sorry about the mess ah it's all right take more than a few jerry bombs to put mr mandarin's bank out of action hey yes yes we're trying to you up as much as we can that's a ticket always remember a soldier's first rule On active service keep tidy i should never forget when i was in the sudan we used to have little kit bags and we wore them at the back they used to hang over our bottom anyway some of the lads had odds and ends dangling out these little bats and general kitzner couldn't abide this he couldn't stand untidy behind you that's interesting mr jones yeah and i'll tell you another thing mr mr jones i'm sorry I've got to get on with my work this man is not in a very good mood this morning because of the damage to the bank now what can i do for you well i want to pay in some money 500 pounds 500 pounds i know it's a lot more than i usually pay but you see it's not really mine you mean you've stolen it no of course not i haven't stolen it see it's like this all us local shopkeepers have been having a collection for the new servicemen's containing warmington and Last night the chairman dick billings he brought the final amount 500 pounds round to my shop who wants to give it to you well because they made me treasurer i wanted to make you the treasurer well because i am the only one amongst them who is a butcher what's that got to do with it well i'm careful and cautious better be careful and cautious and crafty when you're counting and clipping coupons you know Not careless anyway i'm paying the money into my account and then tomorrow i shall write out the check and present it to the mayor at the town hall oh i see right well where's the money well hang on yeah now i've got it in a packet in this carrier bag there why is it wrapped up in newspaper oh 500 pounds a lot of money in it i didn't Want to get knocked on the head and rob to die i thought if i wrapped it up like that people would think it was half a pound of sausages i see that's a good idea joan yeah this is half a pound of sausages talking about it can't be cheese look oh oh

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The Day the Balloon Went Up Series 2 Episode 41

sipero — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 10:15:00 GMT

We present arthur lowe, john measurer and clive dunn in dad's honor. Today the balloon went up featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender. With this week's guests bill pertwee, frank williams, edward sinclair and michael knowles. Here is the news, and this is jon snow reading it. The war continues and europe rides in agony under the grinding heel Of the nazi jackpot. Hitler looks hungrily across the channel, but the brave men of britain's home guard are grimly determined that the shadow of the swastika shall never darken this green and pleasant land at the church hall in warmington on sea. It is the start of another day's parade, sir. Why aren't the men falling in well uh, probably because I haven't told them to sir - Would you mind telling them now? Yes, of course, all right right, all right fall in your chaps again, all right squad squad shut. Sorry about that! Yes, it wasn't awfully good jones. Was it all right stand out ease that was me again? Yes, jones do try to do it when the others do it? Oh sorry, sergeant I wasn't far out. Was I no it Worked. It makes the whole squad. Look so slammingly, sorry sergeant, because if I shot a bit louder, it might make jones feel more at home, we'll get on with it wilson squad squad. Pretend it's remarkable, don't you think, sir yeah? The only slight criticism I have is that the rest of the squad is in detention. While jones is standing at ease. What happens? Do you think you could put your legs together? What do you mean? Put your legs together supposed to be a sergeant, not head. Mistress of the girls school girls, the only slight criticism I have is that the rest of the men now seem to be standing at ease, stand to attention all of it miss mark jones. Thank you very much, sir. By the way, i've got some nice kidneys. For mrs mandarin, no talking on parade couple bring them around to the office after inspection, sir, why are you wearing that muffler on parade? I think I might be getting croup group, yes and mum said I had to wear my muffler just in case wilson. I thought only baby's got coop yeah. Well, he gets it too. He must be a Late developer, but don't let him come up here like that, again god free. Yes, sir, don't worry your hat's straight like that, should be worn on the right side of the head. Look like george forbid, i'm sorry, sir. Would you mind holding my stick while I i adjusted I thank you Just a minute. You can't bring a walking stick on parade. I get a little twinge of gout in my left foot when there's a damn spell. That's why i've got a slipper on that foot. Let's slip down come and play like that fall out. Everybody i'll pay attention quite clear to me. This platoon is getting very relaxed in the matter of personal appearance and Discipline, and this is borne out by a signal. I received this morning from hq. It appears that the co came through here yesterday and didn't receive a single salute. Furthermore, a certain lance corporal even had his hands in his pockets, which he did not remove permission to confess, sir. I was that certain large corporal, i'm not surprised jones You're. The only last couple we've got why you jones i've always found you most bacterious about saluting well, it was a case of forgetfulness so carefully. Surely I haven't forgot what an officer looks like no, so i've forgotten me braces. I thought if I took my hands out in the pockets to salute him, it would not be sealed. [ Music ] well we're going to spend the next five Minutes saluting you give the order jones and remember the hand, goes the longest way up and the shortest way down. So it's longest way up. One shortest way down two palm of hand faces front four finger in line with the right eyebrow like so everyone see me clearly, oh yeah right carry on corporal yes up squad longest way up short way down. Mr bettering yes pick up sword, oh, how very nice of you all to salute me. You don't really have to you know, but bless you [ Music ]. Can I help you vicar? Well, that's rather taken the wind out of my sails. I came here to be very cross with you, mr bannering. Someone has written a very rude word on the back of my spare harmonium. Let's see how that concerns my platoon. Well, it's in the room at the top of the church tower your bed sleeping there on firewatch. They wouldn't do anything like that. Well, they have come up and see for yourself. Oh very well, wilson! You come with me jones, carry on with the saluting squad. [, Music ]. One word hurry up wilson. Ah, Here we are now. Do you see that on the back of the harmonium, what have you got to say to that? Oh dear? Well, my men. Don't do that sort of thing and i'm going to prove it. Well, sir, my goodness, it's a jolly long way up.

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The Godiva Affair Series 3 Episode 44

sipero — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 15:45:03 GMT

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Keep Young and Beautiful Series 3 Episode 45

sipero — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 22:15:01 GMT

we present arthelene gentlemen clive dunn in dad's armor, keep young and beautiful, featuring john laurie, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest larry. Martin, here is the news, and this is john snyder reading it 1942 starts well for the allied forces. British sea power is once again supreme in the mediterranean. Rommel has been Pushed back from the frontiers of egypt and the entry of america into the war has provided a tremendous boost to morale, but britain is not resting on her laurels, nor is the home guard in a field near warmington on sea. Captain battering splatoon are re-doubling their efforts to keep fit by running up and down carrying on their shoulders a telegraph pole, [ Music ]. What are you all grumbling about when the war's over? If anyone wants a telegraph, paul you're living in a hurry, we've all got ourselves a nice little business. Don't give up. Oh man, you know, so they really are awfully enthusiastic. Don't you think? Yes, unfortunately, their enthusiasm usually outruns their Energy right. Let's go up in the telegraph and let it fall across the stream right come on now. Oh no, it should be easy for you. Taffy, like tossing the k battle. Maybe you're not wearing your kilt naughty temper right! Let the pole go! That's it come on frankie! You hold the ball steady and i'll start shining across. We are not going to shin We're going to walk across cross breathing. We are tight, roll walkers, hey, just hold hands and grip in the pole. With our feet we inch our way across like monkeys. You mean speak for yourself. Oh enough of this chatter come on now. Now everybody hold hands right. That's it don't look down! No! Whatever you do! Look up! Look [, Music, ], wow, [, Music, ]. What a brilliant idea wasn't it to walk across it freighter old hands? He says so, instead of just him falling in, we all do yeah somehow, wilson. I don't think this exercise has been a great success, a bit of a bit of a washout really hasn't it. You'll never miss an opportunity to demonstrate that penetrating width of yours - I do my best, sir all right man come on, come out of that. Let's get back to hq honey up now fallout. My legs won't carry the extra weight. If my mum catches me like this, she won't let me come anymore. Don't worry, parky come back to my place, i'll fit you out with a spare uniform, won't cost you much. I must say, sir. Oh, my goodness, it's a relief to get the weight of one's feet. Good lord, that was tiring, you're out of condition. That's all yeah! Well, it was rather a long march back here, sir, I was with you, don't forget! Yes, you were on your bicycle. Oh there's trainers peddling up some of those hills. Yes, of course it must have been. Oh, It's nice to get these boots off. You won't leave them in here. No, no! No, of course, don't say that no, no, no, the men did awfully well didn't they awfully well um. The shambles jones is a sexual as a joke, but they try very hard, though didn't they well. That won't be good enough when we're up against hitler and his prussian butchers. They have to split the platoon into two halves. There's are young enough and fit Enough. Those who aren't up to battle standards. Yes. Well, I tried that once look rather untidy. How do you mean i'm tired? Well, there were two men in one half and twenty one in the other. I don't mention any rules. I sometimes wish that I had some younger men under my command yeah. Well, other people seem to be thinking on the same lines. How do we well just a minute for the snow kit? Yes, it is this uh, this trickle down from The war office. It says, in view of the fact that, at the outset of war, many younger and fitter men join the arp, leaving only the older and less fit men available for the home guard. It might be desirable now for these younger fitter men to be drafted into the home guard and the older men into the arp. What hmm, let me have a look at this local hangout commander, should look into The agent fitness of their men with a view to getting together with the arp and exchanging personnel. This is an outrageous suggestion, i'll fight that tooth and nail, I know greater. Yes, I mean, how can I face say: godfrey or fraser or jones tell them that I have no more use for them and they're now in the arp? Well, you won't have it. Is it there's going to be a parade and the area commanders coming here to pick up which of us or to go to The arp in which wardens ought to join us? I don't want any hodges rebel in my unit. Well, I got a visa. They should leave one alone. One just doesn't know what a thing like this would end. Crosstalk I mean take hardest. For instance, I mean you, you say you do not want any of his ravel in your unit. In fact, you might find yourself in the arp. This might finish up As his unit what earth you're talking about. Well, once they start this sort of thing I mean anything, could happen.

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Absent Friends Series 3 Episode 46

sipero — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 04:15:00 GMT

represent arthur, though john lameyer and clive done in dad's army, [ Applause, ], absent friends, featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guests bill pertwee, larry, martin, pearl hackney and michael brennan. Here is the news, and this is jon. Snow agreed, it is the beginning of 1942 In north africa, rommel and his africa corps have been pushed back towards benghazi by the eighth army's latest offensive and on the russian front the axis forces have been halted, somewhat removed from the main battlefronts, but a vital cog In the great war machine is the church hall at warmington on sea headquarters of the local home guard in the side office sergeant wilson is singing to himself A room with a view, and you, and no one to worry, is no one to hurt us through this Dream we found we'll build and we'll cool, not in here wilson, other sir. I didn't expect you until tomorrow morning. Well, I didn't go to london. After all, oh was the large meeting cancelled. No elizabeth didn't like the idea of being left alone overnight. These air raids worry the women folk. A lot to know. Anyhow. Is it time for parade? No, it doesn't matter well. You know. I said that. There's no reason for you to stay. You know, after all, we weren't, expecting you try to get rid of me. Wilson, of course, uh uncle arthur. Oh, oh, well, hello, mr manreen! I wasn't expecting to see you here. Children see him. Why aren't you wearing her uniform? My mum's put in the wash tub said it smelled of bleach. Well, of course it smells of bleach. That's the anti-mustard gas treatment. Well, she said it wasn't fit to be seen and she's, given a good go over with the dolly dolly. No, it's disgraceful. Can't you do anything to stop her wilson once she gets underway. I find it's not easy to stop her. Really. Oh never mind that now get that uniform back by tomorrow. Pack, yes, mr mandarin answered wilson, hello, wilson, yes, sir, how many times my children not to say hello, announce yourself, we're hq number one: platoon b company warmington see home guard and you are platoon sergeant wilson. All right hq number one platoon b company of one Week on see home guard, and I am platoon sergeant wilson, oh hello, how awfully nice to hear your voice and after all, this long time we really must get together again, you know sometimes, who is? Who is this your wife, sir i'll, take it hello, elizabeth? What, but I did say goodbye to my, dare I called it out from the kitchen door. Excuse me a minute wilson. You can fold the men in now. I shall be a moment all right. Yes, but what was that elizabeth? No, no, of course he hasn't slipped, my memory, but I haven't seen corporal jones yes, and you must appreciate that it's rather difficult for me to ask him for under the counter ox tail, but i'm trying to maintain the discipline of the platoon. No, I don't think you're being very reasonable. My dear, if I may say so, hello, hello, elizabeth, hello, hello. Ah, how was another man ready for inspection? There are one or two missing come along that we better call the rule all right, uh, a couple germs really call the rule: hey good job - god free, not here, not here Razor, not here, just just just a minute. What's going on. What is all this? Well, we're a little bit thin on the ground tonight, so yeah, i'm afraid we've got a little bit of absenteeism without leaves. Yes, I should think we have. What is everyone uh, uh i'd rather not say, sir? What are you talking about? Well, it's sneaking sneaking, or it doesn't like to tell on the traps, not okay, wilson. I don't want Any of this public school nozzles. This is war, not gray friars. I order you to tell me the whereabouts of my troops, they're in the pub in the past. They're playing they're playing darts, yes against the arp wardens. Did you give them permission? Well, yes, but I did say I didn't think it was an awfully good idea and if it was all the same to them, i'd rather they didn't. They thought they'd get away with it, sir, but I knew Your suspicions would be aroused the moment you said fall in and they didn't. This is ridiculous. Wilson, as soon as my back is turned men come operate. Looking like scarecrows most of them, don't come on parade at all. It's your slack discipline, that's causing all this! You know! Well, I i do get quite cross for them at times you have 10 minutes to round them up and get them here. So you better get cracking right. Sir Right move, I said, move wilson, I am i'm you watch me. I am moving mr man, i'm here, [, Music, ]. I'm very glad to see you pike, my mum, won't. Let me go into pubs quite right through jones. Very glad to see that, as ever, you placed your duty first and didn't join the team. I wasn't picked [ Music ]. Why not? They said I couldn't see the board [ Music ]. They are 47 for the wardens chalking up godfrey leave me no plumbing, maybe you're late, don't you well.

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Round and Round Went the Great Big Wheel Series 3 Episode 47

sipero — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 09:15:01 GMT

represent our hello, john and five done in dad's army round and round went the great big wheel featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest bill. Pertwee larry, martin, john barron and michael knows here is the news, and this is john snyder reading it As 1942 dawns with renewed enemy activity on all fronts. The need for newer and more devastating weapons becomes number one priority in an underground room at the war office. Colonel pierce officer, commanding secret weapons very carefully opens a small cardboard box which he hands to his adjutant there. You are stewart. What do you make of that looks like a shoeboxer inside the box. You idiot Sorry, it's a wheel, sir. Well done stewart, that's exactly what it is a wheel, but with a difference, this is a scale model of the secret weapon. We shall be testing at warmington next saturday off exciting. Isn't it yeah the actual wheel itself? Stands some 20 feet high and contains 2 000 pounds of high explosive it'll knock out an enemy pill box, no matter how thick up to a range of three miles. Now? What do you think of that eh? It's called the high explosive attack device propelled by ultra high frequency for short they've, called it by the code name head poof. I like it, sir now by means of a simple control panel, the wheel will do anything we wanted to do. Turn left turn right. Even go round obstacles, that's awfully clever, sir! Yes, this wheel could well be the turning point in the whole wall. So I don't have to tell you stuart, it's Red hot. I hope you've got the security well buttoned up. Yes, sir. I've done a thorough wreck of the airfield at warmington sea. Oh good, good, bit off the beaten track, but ideal for our purpose. Now we'll need quite a few troops to keep the areas sealed off. Yes, sir, I thought, instead of using regular troops, we could use those um what you call them, those uh home things huh, Oh things. Oh you mean the home guards yeah, it's really. Yes, that's right. There are three home guard cartoons in the area: the east gate under captain square they'll guard the entrances to the airfield, the dim witch under captain, graham they'll patrol the perimeter, and keep out any supers yes. But what about admin? Fatigues, cookhouse and digging the latrines? All the dirty jobs now who's going to do these. I thought the warming general super tool. It's run by captain mannering he's the local bank manager. What did he say when you asked him to do the fatigues? I haven't told him yet i'm getting dancing today. Well, it's not going to be easy to convince him that his platoon should do all the dirty work. Don't buy himself i'll talk him into it. Give him plenty of soft soap butter him after her. Well, that's right make him feel important. There's nothing! Bank Managers like better than feeling important and that kept it mattering is a brief outline of the test. I don't want to take up too much of your time after all, you're a very important man. Oh I wouldn't say I was important. Would you wilson? No, not really no thank you wilson. Well, captain mary i've told you what the other home guard cartoons will be doing With the test, but I haven't seen what you will be doing. Have I i'm eager to hear something? Well, the fact is, I i don't quite know how to put this. You see the fact is, there are several things that have to be done, not very pleasant things and I uh well, that's to say we say no more, sir. What you're, trying to tell me is that You want us for special duties. I want you for special duties. You can rely on us up exactly what our special duties, sir. Oh, really wilson, what a question to ask! It's top secret hush hush! We shall find out when we get there. Oh, yes, you'll find out all right. I want you to get your chaps together and brief them and don't forget absolute secrecy. Oh and here's a list of things to bring with you. Ah thank you. You can trust my chaps, they won't be the word for so I may I add how proud and privileged I am that you've chosen my platoon to carry out these special pieces, see you on saturday, then good night, good night, sir, what an awful nice chat wasn't? He yeah now special duties call for special meals, there's only one place where we can be sure of not being overheard. We must go underground yeah, I don't think we'll all get into the vicar's shelter, sir. Yes, what is it? I wish to apologize for the cramped happiness of the men when you looked around us to creep into this crypt. I did not comprehend completely that you had contemplated us to raid in these confined conditions. Yes, all right now, man, I brought you down here, because I have something highly secret to tell you And I don't want it to be over her come on. Would you mind speaking about you better? I can't hear what you're saying man you're mumbling you're mumbling i've.

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White Hunter Series 3 Episode 48

sipero — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 15:15:00 GMT

Represent arthur lowe, john, the measure on five done in dad's army, the great white hunter featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guests, larry martin pearl hackney, elizabeth morgan and fraser carr. Here is the news, and this is john snag. Reading it, the german armies now hold the upper hand on every front. They have pushed the allied forces out of greece And crete. Romell has swept victorious to the frontiers of egypt and in russia, kiev has fallen on the struggle for moscow begun. The picture is bleak, but we are not down-hearted, nor is captain mannering commander of warmington on sea's home guard, as he addresses his men. There's no doubt about it. Men 1941 will go down in history as the year of the parachute revolutionized the Military strategy mind you. I saw it coming years ago, but no one would listen to him. I can recall as long ago as 1936 elizabeth and I were on holiday at bogner, mognon regis and I went up for a five silly trip in a biplane and as we saw through the clouds the wind blowing in my face, I looked down and you've got Free and lunch frank, yes, mr Mannering, it's no good! You won't wake up, oh, never mind. Where was I going? I looked down and the idea came to me parachute troops as soon as we got back to the boarding house to the hotel where we were staying. I wrote a long letter to the war office explaining my entire plan and believe it or not, gentlemen. I never Even got a reply just just like our great leader, winston churchill. I was shouting in the wilderness. Wake up. England, oh yeah, have I missed anything? Nothing! Absolutely nothing now, man, I expect you're wondering where all this is leading. If he doesn't hurry up it's going to lead. Oh that's not getting a drink. Well, today, i've received a memo from the war office that has been sent to all homeguard units. Now i'm going to read it to all ranks of the home guard in order to create alarm confusion, the enemy has recently been dropping numerous empty parachutes in the southern counties. In future, all parachutes found must be reported once to ghq permission to speak, sir. Yes, what happens if one of our airmen jumps Out by a parachute and then when he lands, he takes it off and walks away and we come along and see the parachute. But we do not know it is his because she has walked away previous. How do we know it is a british parachute and not a nazi one? That's a very good question. Let me see. Ah yes, I thought so it's all here in the memo very simple. Our parachutes are pure white, Shoot sort of dirty off white creamy color. That's what one would have guessed of all, but there's your answer, durians. If it's not white, it's not one of ours. Thank you now, as you know, hess landed in this country by parachute some time ago. So it's quite obvious that the rats are leaving the sinking ship for all. We know several nazi leaders may have landed in this country during the Past few weeks. Excuse me, mr man, that new commissioner outside the cinema looks awfully like her hitler didn't know all right. All right, I know it sounds absurd, but we we must check everything wilson. Yes, sir. Next time we go to the pictures, ask to see the commissioner's identity card cut my ring. Yes suppose we do find an empty parachute by The time we reported it back to ghq. Whoever was on the end of it could be miles away. What about using a tracker dog, a good dog, could sniff the parachute, pick up the scent and lead us to whoever came down in it. Excellent idea, president. Thank you, sir any snack is, I don't think any of us has got a dog yeah. It so happens. My cousin angus has one: oh, What sort is it it's a dachshund? No, I don't think that's any good. We need something with long legs that can cover the ground. Thank you all the same wilson come here. Yes, sir, did you hear that phrase's cousin got an accent, german dog? Think it's all right. I don't know so I don't know anything about dog, not the Dog he's cousin keeping a german dog doesn't put him in a very good light. You know, I think you better check up on him. Wilson is this before or after i've checked up on the cinema, commissioner, don't be flippant, it doesn't become you i'll, get hold of the dog for you, mr marion, oh well done walker! When can we get it here well, which Tomorrow might be soon enough? Good good? Yes, yes, let's settle them right man! That's all for now! Dismiss! Excuse me, mr winner and uh. Can I have a word with you? Certainly walk up come to my office.

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The Deadly Attachment Series 3 Episode 49

sipero — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 22:15:00 GMT

We present arthur lowe, john, the measurer and clive dunn in dad's armor, the deadly attachment featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender. With this week's guests, frank williams, philip malik, larry, martin and fraser carr. Here is the news, and this is jon snag reading it. The war in europe continues Unabated, as hitler persists in his attempts to become its supreme master. As far as britain is concerned, adult's latest threat of invasion is by parachute troops in his headquarters at warmington on sea. Captain mannering, the ceo of the local homeguard unit, is talking to his men about this very subject now pay attention. Today I received a new directive from jhq regarding nazi parachutists. They have come up with some useful advice which we should all carefully note make sure you're not under him when he hits the ground that'll do war. It's very important. Now ghq says that there is a danger that home guard units might confuse british pilots who have had to bail out with actual german parachute troops. So to avoid confusion. A good point to Remember is the fact that no british plane contains more than six men, especially after they've jumped out, especially after walker. Where was that, oh yeah, if a nazi parachute is just floating down with his hands up, would you think this was strange? Not off as strange as if he was floating up with his hands down, I won't warn you again Now. If the parachute has his hands up, this does not necessarily mean that he's surrendering he could have a grenade concealed in each hand, so watch it. Hi pop into the office answer the phone. Yes, mr mandarin, by the way wilson, while we're on the subject of grenades, have you primed our stock of mills bombs? Well, no, sir! You see, I told you to do it yesterday. What good are the unprimed nobody's awfully dangerous? Sir war is awfully dangerous wilson. I want those bombs ready, for instance, use sea twitch tonight, sir. You want it on. The phone is ghq very important. Thank you bank takeover very good, sir captain mannering here, oh mannering, uh, colonel winter's here, ghq and listen. I've got a very important job for you to do. Oh excellent, sir, what is it? I've just had a message from the police. A fishing boat has picked up the captain of a u-boat and seven members of his crew they're down at the harbour now locked in the hole. I do this. This is good new, sir. Well, I want you to go and collect them and take them back to your place. Oh well, i'm not really sure whether my wife elizabeth would like that. No, no, no, no, I don't think you're home Battering. I mean where you are now. Your hq i'll send an armed escort over to collect them from you as soon as possible. Oh very good, sir. We'll take good care of them in the meantime. Oh, they won't give you much trouble. They've been drifting about for two days and a rubber dinghy. Anyway. Good luck. Thank you, sir goodbye sir. I do face to face with the enemy at last Pay attention to the man now that that call was to say that a fishing boat has picked up a u-boat crew and we've been detailed to go down to the harbour and collect them. Mr man, this is very exciting. I can't wait to get out of here. I'll just fix my bananas put that banner away jones plenty of time for that when we get there. Oh, I can't help it. When I get even a whiff of action I reach for my abandoned is second nature. I tell you it's technology, it's all right, all right! Just pull the men in outside. Yes, sir, yes, you're right, look alive, they're falling outside wilson pike. You two stay here. Well, the rest of us go down to the hall, but I want you to prime all grenades. If you insist, sir, I do I watch more. I want it done by the time We get back with those jellies. That's not fair uncle after I wanted to go down to the harbour and help collect the germans. I'm sorry, you frank you, you can't say just stop moaning. Would you just come into the vicar's office and we'll make a start on the grenades? Oh all right. I'm glad okay, you guys this is a showdown share. This pineapple amongst you safe, be careful what you're doing with That grenade the chicago gangsters used to call these pineapples and colossal. I saw it in that film scarface with paul moonies. I I don't care, I don't get. What the chicago guest is calling just be careful that they're very dangerous. Oh, these are quite safe, they haven't been primed, yet you know I i really don't like handling these detonators. I mean they're so risky. There only two left in this box wait a Minute. Wait a minute, wait, a minute! There's another box here yeah, but that label says dummy primers for trading purposes. Only we don't want dummies, they're, no good, hey, look, look hey, there's another box of real ones! At the back, wait a minute wait, a minute frank, wait now!

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My British Buddy Series 3 Episode 51

sipero — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 04:15:00 GMT

We present arthur lowe, john, the messiah and clive dunn in dad's army, my british buddy featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guests bill pertwee, larry, martin jack watson, pearl hackney, molly, sugden and wendy. Richard here is the news, and this is john snag. Reading it. The creeping paralysis of war continues to spread throughout europe, As one country follows another in the refusal to give in to hitler and his tyrannical bid for supreme power in britain in the church hall at warmington on sea, captain mannering is addressing his men since we've been Together, man, we have had to face some dark times very dark indeed at last, though i'm happy to say, after all the darkness, We can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a long tunnel very small light, nonetheless shining brightly for all to see. Mr rogers won't like that. I'm not referring to the blackout stupid boy, i'm talking about the war situation. The fact is that, after our standing Alone against the nazi hordes for two years, help is now at held. Who is it son anybody? We know, I think you should it's the americans, oh good old, uncle. Sam hey, is your uncle american joe. You never know he might be one of the ones coming over. No parker, you don't understand uncle Sam's, not really an uncle. Oh, I know what you mean yeah, it's like me, calling sergeant wilson uncle arthur, see, they're not really related. It's just that. He spends a lot of time at my mum's talking in the ranks to me now. As you know, the americans came into the war a few months ago and the first consignment is now arriving from the usa. They haven't exactly rushed, have they known for two and a half years now, with any of that sort of talk. When can we expect the american gentleman, sir? A small advanced guard will be arriving in warmington on saturday morning, and I think that we should give them a hearty welcome. You mean sort of uh run out the red carpet for them, sir, precisely haven't actually got a red carpet. Of course, I could lay my hands on some carpet. That's just been taken out of the cottage hospital's casualty department - that's red not all over, but in patches, don't be disgusting walker. What we ought to do, sir, is to show the americans something typically british good idea. Wilson, what about a a display of highland dance in sir you couldn't get more british than that. Could you yes, how about it fraser? Could you arrange a display you're, the president of the warming, to not see caledonian society, [ Music ], to be a wee bit difficult? Why i'm? The only one in it there used to be two of us, john mcclane and me, but when I put the subscriptions up to five shows a year he wouldn't pay. So I threw him out. Mr speaker, yes, jim. I wish report i've just been struck by a thought. What is it well so, when I was in sudan and we signed a peace treaty with the word in dervishes general kitchener thought it'd be a good idea to have a get-together. So he asked the doctors what they'd like to do and they said they wanted a spear-throwing contest, but he forbade it really. Why was that they wanted to use general kitchen as a Target anyway? The point of my story is why don't we invite the americans to watch a darts match at the red lion, excellent idea an evening at a typically english pub? What could be better, we'll invite them all to spare through to a dance match at the red line? On saturday night now we want it to be informal, of course, so you can bring your ladies with you I'll bring shirley, sir, you remember her. Don't you, mr marin works in the fish and chip shop? Oh yeah, not an easy girl to forget and uncle arthur. I mean sergeant wilson will bring my mum. Won't you right! Oh yes, that's first jersey. What about you, sir? Would you uh? Would you bring mrs mannering? Oh no [, Music ]. No, somehow I don't think elizabeth would Do very much for anglo-american relations now. What else can we think of hey what about the banner stretched across the bar sir, with a message of greeting on it? Yes, yes, that's right! Damn yeah! I can get one made up for you, sir, very well. Walker yeah just tell me what you want and i'll take it down. Oh, no, let's see how about um Hello to our brave american allies, go to it and you'll soon be home. You can't be that long twice around the bar and out across the ice street. I'll cut it down now, uh. Well, I mean for a start. You don't want all that brave american allies stuff. Do you they don't have to tell the americans uh they're brave. They know already, we'll just call them yanks. You don't Need to tell them where to go from what I hear about they'll, soon find out right, i'll cross that bit out then and uh. There's no need for the soon be owned bit uh, but let me just come into the war. What have you got left, mr walker, um. Let's see, yanks go home and look welcome just make it a short greeting and don't spend more than tenuring. What's up just leave it to me there.

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The Big Parade Series 3 Episode 53

sipero — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 09:15:00 GMT

to present arthelene john lametra and clive dunn in dad's army, the big parade featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest bill, pertwee edward sinclair, larry, martin and pearl hackney, [ Applause. ], here is the news, and this is john snag - reading it. It is early 1942 and the tide of war ebbs and flows in north africa. Rommel's successful counter-attack culminates in the capture of benghazi, while in the east hitler's aspirations found her on the frozen steps of russia. Meanwhile, in a quiet backwater of england, captain mannering commander of warmington on sea's home guard sergeant, wilson and mrs pike and her son, frank, are enjoying an evening at the picturesque. It has its uncomfortable moments in germany arthur what is it hold my hand, but very well. Oh arthur, I think, conrad writes so romantic. Don't you yeah! Well, yeah he's rather like you in a way sort of Strong and masterful. Well, yes, I suppose he is can't you sit a bit closer. Oh, is it it's not easy with the arm of the seat between us? Oh yes, sir. Yes, who is this film chip, some sort of foreigner, I think so? Yes, I think it's disgraceful having german actors and films. Why couldn't they've got something British for the past? Oh arthur just look at the way conrad's holding her in his arms, frank. Take your thumb out of your mouth. Sorry mom! I say wilson, yes, sir, realize we're surrounded by courting it's like hyde park on a sunday afternoon, they've got to go somewhere, haven't they. I really do think he's appalling the way people carry home in the cinema. Yes, yes, I do. Certainly it's first frank: will you stop sucking your thumb? No doubt about it. Public models are going to pieces far too much permissiveness as we're dabbing. The walls over people stop doing this sort of thing. There's a couple in front of us here, absolutely disgusting and they're blocking my view of the Screen. Excuse me my man, mind sitting up please. Oh sorry, sir, thank you. That's better good job elizabeth isn't here tonight. Why didn't you come sir? She uh she doesn't like the talkies. Oh, why not? The moment? L jolson first opened his mouth and said you ain't heard nothing. Yet she complained of a headache. She hasn't been back to the cinema since oh that was quite some years ago. Yes, well, she's, not a great one for changes, though [ Music ]. I thought that was ever such a good film. Didn't you arthur? Yes, I did yeah, it's quite good, yeah mum. Yes, frank, hey that looks like mr jones yeah, but just there in front of mr mannarine, what Is it all lunched up with his overcoat collar around his ears? Yeah? I can't believe I bet you. It is hey, mr man. Marine just point. I think that's, mr jones sitting in front of you what you sure, yeah tap him on the shoulder and see. Yes, that's you jones, oh good evening, mr man, it is you uh. Yes, sir, this is my friend mrs fox She's, a widow. You know really talk to you later jones, [, Music, ], oh good! It's the news. I like the news. This is the government british news bringing the truth to the free people of the world. [ Music ], the prime minister, taking time off from the pressures of whitehall inspects the men of the royal wayminster regiment. He pauses for a moment to admire the Regimental massacre, the beautiful white ram angus of clyde. Look at that magnificent animal wilson, oh yeah, hi joe, that that's given me an idea, oh dear, has it tell you about it later come on? We better report for duty. Do you have to go off, i'm afraid so? Come on frank? Oh, that's! Not fair! We haven't seen the donald duck yet come on. [ Applause, ], [, Music ] Now pay attention. Man settle down last night, I went to the cinema and I saw something there that that really made me think permission to speak, sir. That lady and I are just good friends. Well, it's not my thoughts that she never leaves me alone, she's, always after a bit on the side, but I tell all my lady customers the same thing. If you haven't got the coupons, you can't have it against the law. You know it's against What i'm talking about you jones, i'm referring to the ram. What's the difference, all right, the regimental mascot in the newsreel. Now, as you know, there's a parade next sunday morning of all civil defence and home guard units to mark the start of the spitfire fund week, and I thought that it might be a good idea if we had a basket. I don't quite sure what sort of message it should be. So i'm going to throw this idea at you and then you can kick it about spend mean i've got a white mouse. What about that is mascara, don't be stupid. Boy can't have a white mouse leading the parade. Of course you can't you'd never get the collar around. It's dead, all right hold on hold on sir now. What we really want is a symbol of power and aggression. Now, what the Scottish golden eagle have? You got a scottish golden needle.

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The Two and a Half Feathers Series 3 Episode 65

sipero — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 15:45:01 GMT

we present arthur lowe, john measurer and clive done in dad's army with two and a half covers featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guests bill petry, michael bates, larry, martin and avril lankers, [ Applause. ]. Here is the news, and this is jon snow reading it By the autumn of 1942. Almost the whole of the continent of europe is under the sway of the former lance corporal and one time house, painter from bavaria, adolph schuckelgruber, but our island fastest, thanks in no small way to the gallant efforts of the home guard remains in violet down at warmington. On sea three members of the local platoon captain mannering sergeant wilson and private pike are preparing to fortify the inner man in their local British restaurant. What you're going to have today awesome right? I think i'd rather fancy the turd in the hole, sir um fish and potato pie for me. I think you were always one for adventure. Adventures. Excuse me what what sort of fish is it it's nuke, a bigger pond. I thought it snoop. Are you dead for something? In that case, I think i'll have the toad in the hole. I wish you'd make your mind Up right next. Could I have fish pie? Please one fish pie coming up. What sort of fish is it please? It's snook, oh, I think I have toad in the hole another one. The fish pie is snook. Has everybody got that it's snook and don't forget to take your dirties back to the hatch when you're finished? I always do? Oh, no, you don't you left them on the table yesterday. I've got enough to do without clearing up your dirties. Now. Look here. My good woman wilson, for Goodness sake, go and sit down, make an exhibition vision, but I do hate rudeness. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, mr mannery, what are you doing? Walker? Let's show me a second hello, edna, darling hello, mr walker, dear you got my steak snake. That's what I said. It's all ready for you, mr walker, medium rare, just as you like it, lovely hey. What would you like with it? Oh just a Few spots and carrots. Oh crap, you are, mr walker, just just a minute walker. Why are they serving you with steak? Would it not, I brought it in earlier for them to cook? For me, oh wait. Now, hey I love here's, the elastic! I promise you, oh so mr walker can't have them falling down on the job. Can we, mr you, can't go flaunting your black market food? All over the place, it'll give the Platoon a bad name, hello. I don't want to be rude, mr mannarin, but I am not wearing a uniform and i'm not on parade and what is more, I am a customer at your bank, with over 1500 nick are in the deposit account. So if you don't mind, I will go and eat my dinner. It's 1542 actually that'll do I say wilson you've seen that enormous steak walker's got yes, it looks delicious. Excuse me, mr Manny, can you move that? Please don't sit here. Pike go down to the other end of the table with walker. Oh all, right, then part of the rank and file eating with us wilson bed for discipline. Well, I gather in the german army all ranks eat together. I'm sure that doesn't impress me very much. Let's look at this toad wilson suggested more than a mouthful, i'm in Somewhat of a dilemma. Here, sir, I don't know whether to eat my toad first or save it till the end. Good morning, good morning, blimey he's a chocolate soldier. Look at that uniform, hello, joe hello pokey. You need to dress up. You know it's only totally old. What do you mean? This? Is my dress, uniform? It's my regimental dinner tonight for The survivors of the battle of omnimum. Well, I hope they're not eating here. Otherwise, there won't be any survivors, i'm going up to london abdomen, you say jones, yes, sir, it's the 42nd annual reunion of the veterans of the battle of andaman. I see him. I serve with distinction in that campaign, sir. I should be mentioning dispatches, but I think they ran out of paper. That was the last time a great cavalry Charge was ever made by the british army. I can remember, as if it was yesterday, we were situated between two huge rocks, save a sec of argument, and these salt and pepper pots right right now. Our general kitchener was here that that's this bottle of brown sauce and the mad margie was no hold on the brown sauce would better be the mad master. What I mean on account, he was brown, you see he's uh general kitchen. He better be this butler Tomorrow. Sauce him having a sort of florida complexion you're with me, sir, I think so, generally yeah so here he was between the salt and the pepper, and here at the head of this army was the mad maddie. If you ask me it wasn't only the maori who was mad, I was just past the mustard pot. Joe, would you here it comes right now now I i impersonated by this Partner master, but here right next to the pepper. I wasn't on my own. Of course there was other troops around me and suddenly a trumpet blew up telling this story from mr jones. Anyway, thousands of screaming dervishes came charging straight at us.

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Gorilla Warfare Series 7 Episode 3

sipero — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 22:15:00 GMT

do you think you are kidding, mr hitler? If you think we're on the run, we are the boys who will stop your little game. We are the boys who will make you think again cause who do you [ Music, ], [, Music ]. If [ Music ] quickly, you can without two captain memory, hey, I enough looking forward to this weekend, exercise all right. How many times have I told you not to wear that scarf on parade yeah? My mum made me put it on you see. She said if we were going to be sleeping out all night didn't want me to catch a Cold, we're not likely to come to any harm in this weather. It's mid-summer! Ah hello, sir. What have we got in the suitcase? Oh just a couple of rugs of my pajamas and things in pajamas service. I never heard of anything like it in my life, I don't care wilson, As my sergeant you're supposed, to set an example of toughness you're supposed to be you're wearing scent scent. Yes said: no, it's just a little bit of vertical loan I put on after I shaved but scent on after shave. Yes, yes, i've never heard of such a thing. Mum likes it because it makes him smell. Nice, be quiet. I'm surprised, i've never smelled it before. What is he? I only use it on the Weekend. You see it's frightfully difficult to get you're decadent wilson. That's your trouble! You're wearing suede shoes. Next getting washed off before anybody else. Smells it don't catch people like fraser stinking of scent. What's that smell? Oh, that's! Just a wee drop of embalming, fluid Behind the ear it keeps uh gets the mosquitoes away good afternoon. What are you carrying that ida down for? Well, we should be out all night and my sister donny thought it might help. Keep me warm. You can't move swiftly across country loaded down with that, these goodness moves swiftly across countries start naked, well, they're, all present and correct and raring to goes up. Thank you Just a minute just a minute. What's there all that? Oh, that that says, everyone knows what i, what do you do? Well, the blue sea war correspondent get it off at once yeah and you can't bring that camera on parade well from mr cheese, but he's been taking the photo of me for featuring me in an article in the Gazette. Yes, what about this? For a title note, corporal jones battle, star veteran - it doesn't mean i'm all mango diminji, you know so it means mentally scarred. Sir, it means you're bombing. I am not barmington all right all right all right, starting, for goodness sake, follow them in we've. Wasted enough time to do this, all right better than falling three ranks, please! Oh as you can come on Cheese, but not with the camera. Oh there we are. What should I do with this thing? I'll give it to you right there now, for the purposes of this exercise, we are a patrol of commanders behind the enemy's lines and our task is to rendezvous with a highly important secret agent, who has been dropped by parachute. We shall then escort secret agent to his secret destination. Mr speaker, I should like to volunteer to be that very important, highly secret agent. Yes, well, thank you. John i've already decided who the highly important secret agent is going to be. Excuse me, sir. It's not by any chance going to be you is it yes, how did you know? Oh if you're, just a guest he's been reading, are you really going to jump out of are Playing there in a parachute? Of course, i'm not a stupid boy. It's a hypothetical parachute. Well, I shouldn't use one of them, so they're not safe. Our task is a to see that we're not spotted from the air as we move across the ground, so we should be wearing camouflage ghq, on the other hand, will be doing their best to capture our secret agent, who is highly important Now they will do this By trying to divert us from our task with the use of counter agents now counter agents, as you probably, what are you doing, i'm so sorry, but I thought, as it was such a beautiful day, I thought, while you were chatting away over there, I take advantage Of this glorious sun and try and get myself a little bit of a tan Yeah at breakfast mum said he was looking a bit peaky. How will we know who these counter agents are? We weren't they were using all sorts of disguises. Well, sir, how important are their counteragents? Are they just important or are they highly important? Well, that's not important. I'm sure you would be the most important of them. Also! Oh, yes. Indeed, there's no and more important than you captain me Moren. Yes, indeed, we had a highly important secret agent out in the sudan when I was there tell them fuzzy buzzes got out of him he's one very important after that. I wouldn't like anything like that to happen to you. Captain man tell them what happened to the east cake platoon last week. Tell them what your friend fruity buck master told you. Oh, it is yeah, it's rather funny. Really.

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Resisting The Aggressor Date 1969-12-25

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 10:24:38 GMT

How do you think we're going to win this walk? You can't speak with a french accent. You don't know my answer, sir. I think you better be napoleon and i'll try and be john bull. No! No! No! No! No! No! You you've got those darts all the [, __ ] looks besides with all that disgusting Business with josephine. No, no you're, your father now try it again, but england will be crushed never to rise again. Oh no! No! No, but it won't do you know it really. Won't I tell you what think of charles boyer? Yes, now you must have seen him in that film. I've got a garbo, I didn't see him in there, but I did see him in the garden of allah with uh. What's in there, martin dietrich yeah, it's rather similar sort Of thing, they're, all foreign now look [ Music ], try to remember something that he said from it. Yes, it's a pity not to get the accent right. You know, because that that costume looks very romantic. Come with me to the casper [ Music ] come with me to the casper. That's what he said. Oh I see [ Laughter, ], [, Music ]. You know you said that rather well. Thank you. Thank you very much. Let's have a little encouragement. You know, hello. Think come with me to the caspar yes and say aliens should be crushed, never to rise again. Oh, no, so that's ridiculous is that that possibly going to help the War effort, don't you see that by performing this pageant throughout the town for war weapons week, we shall not be getting money for the war effort, but we've been spreading some vape powerful propaganda and Propaganda is the key note in modern warfare, now come on. Let's get on with the rehearsal right right right, along ready to stop walk up, go ahead, [, Music, ]! I am john ball, the fighting spirit of england. What about scotland? What about [ Music ]? I am john bull, the fighting spirit of scotland, ireland and wales and the isle of wight. I shall tell you again: I am the spirit of agriculture and I am the spirit of commerce in britain illiterate rubbish throughout the ages. Many tyrants have Cut their foreign beady greedy eyes on england's green and pleasant land 55 bc, julius caesar come on [, Music ] england should be crushed, never to rise again. Oh that's! No good! At all. There was an intellectual who's producing this you or me. We just do it. What do you think of them? England shall be crushed never to rise again. Those rotten romans shall not pass. Those rotten romans did not pass [ Music ] rotten romans. What do you think of this raiding romans raiding germany, those raging rovers, shall not pass. Those raving. Romans did not pass, they went missing, but could you possibly tell me what time You think you'll be getting to napoleon two thousand years of history? Before we get to you all right, you've been beaten, gotham get down into a cowering position. One thousand years have passed. [ Music ], as one band reached hundreds of [ Music, ] 1066, william, the conqueror [ Music, ], [ Applause, ] england shall be crushed never to rise again. Those nasty normans shall not pass those nasty norman did not pass lasted. I never wrote nasty doormen, the fairest normans, the fairies. No. I can never wrap me tongue round that, sir, all right i'll tell you what i'll just do the gong again: [, Music. ]. Sorry, sorry, it's all right! All right! So many kind of help, all right! Fraser tower, i'm not current for anybody, but you know, I don't think this is, you know quite historically accurate. You know both julius caesar and william, the conqueror one. We don't want any of that sort of talk here wilson anyway, from now on, they all lost and later, if that's where he is just plain on. The topic 500 years have passed 1588 king, philip of spain, fight fight. What are you doing just like that? You look like eddie can turn the kids on straight. It's a costume. They gave me it's all right, isn't it spanish all right get on with it? Kingland shall be crushed, never to rise again. Those stuffy spanish cannot pass because selfish spanish did not pass. What's all this soppy spanish, why do you alter everything spurious? No, I made him change that mr manner and every time he said spurious spaniards, I used to get soaked through yeah, but never mind. That's what I wrote and that's what I wanted to say, go on say it though spurious spanish cannot pass [ Music ]. So I haven't finished those spirits. Spanish did not pass, oh see what I mean. Sir [ Music ] 227 years have passed and 27 1815 fifteen napoleon border parts come with me to the casper [ Music ] come with me to the castle. Welcome come on get on with it. I got it right. Nearly uh come on, come with me and be crushed in The casper [ Music ]. Should I do my little carrying bits now? Yes, yes, the heavens, throughout the ages, many men of guile have fought to get their hands upon the scepter isle they tried, but they did not succeed.

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Shooting Pains Series 1 Episode 6

sipero — Wed, 15 Sep 2021 04:15:03 GMT

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Guarding Buckingham Palace Date 1970 05 24

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 10:43:39 GMT

centuries will at all times be alert watchful vigilant [Music] [Music] fix that suddenly [Music] can't be miniature [Music] i said old guard you can't get much Older than that [Music] [Music] what does it say you're never going to accept this at the palace you know i know you see that it said it's jones you see so he's late all the time and godfrey's never very early either these old ones they're going to show us up you know the trouble is the uh the old ones in the new guard can't keep up With the new ones in the old guard you see them precisely i think i'm going to have to drop these old ones off the garden yeah they're going to be terribly disappointed you know sir and are you going to tell them now no i shall tell them now i shall pick my time i'll go and fall out i want you to gather around the blackboard hold up That's because blackboard here [Music] all right now this is the plan of buckingham and tomorrow is a great day when we along with various other members of the home guard will be supplying the gas the pebbles but mr speaker therefore there's no need for you to be apprehensive of yourself about paris cancer we've been rehearsing our parts In a diligent manner for the last three weeks and i can speak and rely on our old amendment platoon to play our parts in an outstanding manner are you you've got to tell him nasa no no no no [Music] thank you paul now guarding the palace in war times very different matter from guarding the palace in peace time difference being of course there's a Warrior thank you all [Music] what i'm trying to say is that it's not just a matter of ceremony and red tape we shall actually be guarding mr mannery yeah does that mean to say we'll be wearing red coats and bubbles of course it doesn't just stupid boy in any case it's bear skins do you mean to say we're going to be guarding the palace naked my mother like That i don't think their majesties would either water water just be quiet now it's quite on cards that a nazi paratrooper might try to gain access to the paris and lays hands on a royal person yes sir surely they wouldn't try and do a thing like that yes godfrey i'm afraid they would and we've got to be prepared for just such an emergency now obviously he would have to be disguised as someone who would not be Able to place calling at the palace uh what about a milkman yes yes that's very good make a note of that just occurred to me sir i wonder what the arrangements are at the palace for delivering milk i mean that do they just take it in or did they leave the bottles outside the raiders [Music] what they found friends When you're in bottles you've been challenged michael gray challenged me to take it right inside the polish currents i see mr mandarin yeah if they use churns a nazi paratrooper might hide inside one like alibaba and the forty thieves so in that case you better have uh kettles of boiling water handy earth do we want kettles of boiling water awful that's what alibaba did Wasn't i mean he poured water over the forty season they haven't said really well in that case it's pretty sound thinking yes lay that on charlie right i saw them do that sir at the very same pentagon when i was quite young or they put boiling oil into the jars my do i i thought it was real boiling oil thank you girlfriend the mr speaks up yes supposing i'm standing outside the palace up in an emotional manner Something i sincerely hope you wouldn't be standing outside the palace in a nonchalant manner well no i mean supposing i was too attention sir and i i was feeling in the national map and along comes this man so with some long sticks with brushes on the answer and he's got a black baser and he's all flatter and he says he's a chimney sweep yeah well if it's in the blackout zone it's At night and he's all black sir how will i be able to see his bony fidos [Music] find out the name of the royal chimney sweeper chimney sweep have you been listening i'm sorry i just wandered off for a moment well don't just wander off this lecture is just as much for your benefit as anybody else right at that time it's in this street now There's any other way that access could be gained to their majesties what about a snake then a snake uh don't quite follow this documentary what's to stop them from training the snake to wriggle through the rains and across the forecourt and get into the palace and fight one of the royal personages i think you're going into the realms of fantasy now everybody always says to me And he said you're not in the realms of fantastic corporal yeah as i originally said this is a plan of buck house what you said is going to be buckingham palace that's right here then the brigade it's always referred to as buckhouse snow rubbish hello we should be on garden gates here here and here and possibly here

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Broadcast to the Empire Date 1972 12 25

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 16:15:01 GMT

Who do you think you are kidding, mr hitler? If you think we're on the run, we are the boys who will stop [ Music ]. If you think mr brown goes off to town on the 8 21, but he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun [ Music. ]. Excuse me. Excuse me. Mr mandarin said he doesn't want the phone to ring what, during the broadcast, [ Music ]. Oh happy christmas, mr hodge, and the same for you what's going on here. You can't come in and you mustn't make noises what's unless here napoleon trainer and your secret weapon. Is he what was the door locked? Don't you read the radio times? I haven't got time to read all that rubbish as a war on. We are taking Part in the lunchtime christmas day program to absent friends. Soldiers all over the empire send their greetings since, when are you not being soldiers you're doing the bit where it says: greetings from a home guard unit somewhere on the south coast of england, you're doing the beat just before the king's speech cool blur me as if He hasn't got enough to put up with zero lord well, I don't want to miss this i'll, Go and listen to it on the verge of wireless i'll bet, you not make a right mess of it. Oh [, Music ] are we are we through the producer? In london good morning, everyone, my name, is willowbear charlton maxwell and I am your producer now. This broadcast will be heard all over the empire and your section will come just before his match to the king's Speech: hey that wasn't yeah. That's the whole king's speech. What an honor! Yes! It is awfully good. Sir yeah, all your men already kept you married. Yes, we're all ready! Thank you, combined speaking into the microphone. Please that's the microphone there. You see! Don't do that! Don't do this! Don't do that jones! Now, i'd like to try a voice test, will Someone speak please uh yep, you do it wilson, but much less say. Don't ask me, ask him what should I do? Don't do that don't do this? Will you stop doing that? What shall I say? Oh anything, you like try it nursery rhyme right. There was a young lady from buckingham whose ideas uh Um lavender blue dilly, dilly, lavender green i'll, be your king, dilly tilly. If you'll be my queen, it was awful. Was it ready? I'm so glad you like it. You rarely have an excellent microphone voice. What do you really think, sir? Have you ever done any of this sort of thing before well? As a matter of fact, I once played the white Rabbit in alice in wonderland when I was at school reality yes suited up what school were you at? Well, as a matter of fact, can we get over this spirit? I don't speak to page seven. Do you think I might no certainly not one more voice test, please I i'd like to volunteer to be one more voice. Tester, please, hey, oh han any hold on hey there, you go [ Music ]. Was that nice and clear I don't know, settle down and let's start on the script, please, and I want you to read the lines in perfectly normal natural voices, hello, soldiers of the empire. I am a homeguard commander in charge of platoon somewhere on the south purest of england and i'm a sergeant, i'm second in command, and I am the last corporal i'm third in Command just a minute. Could the officer speak a little more clearly, please [, Music ]. What's the matter, can't you understand what i'm saying well, the fact is you don't sound very much like an officer try and make your voice a little more officer-ish rhq is perched on the top of a windswept Cliff looking out across the angry sea. Just a minute engineer: yes, sir, I want the sound effects in here. Ah, yes, well, I uh, I i'm afraid, that's going to be a bit difficult, sir, why I um? I had a phone call from the sound effects chappies about half an hour ago and their vans broken down. I uh, I don't think they're going to make it, but this is upset. I know I must have the Wind and water kept it. Bearing couldn't some of your men simulate them somehow, oh, I didn't think i'd like to volunteer to stimulate the surge of the sound and see [ Music ]. That was awfully good. Oh thank you, sir. Mr man. Could I do some seagulls please [ Music ]? Shall I make wind Another mark like that walk, I should load you off the broadcast start again, please with the sound effects. Our hq is perched. On top of a windstrip cliff looking across the angry [ Music ], I decide that we don't just sit here. It's time for us to go out on petrol, [, Music, ] on control, sir Or patrol everyone time for us to go from true. I speak to my sergeant sergeant it's time for us to go out for patrol call blimey, sir sir, it is and it ain't half cold and all what whatever it says here corporal it's time for us to go out of trouble men. It's time for us to go out on patrol the men now realize that it is time for them to go. I did okay. Now do be very careful what you say so he can hear every word come on lads, we're going on patrol and in less time than it takes to tell the men are marching along the cliff top in the teeth of the fighting wind.

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Resisting The Aggressors Date 1969-12-25

sipero — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 22:15:01 GMT

how do you think we're going to win this walk you can't speak with a french accent you don't know my answer sir i think you better be napoleon and i'll try and be john bull no no no no no no you you've got those darts all the looks besides with all that disgusting Business with josephine no no you're your father now try it again but england will be crushed never to rise again oh no no no but it won't do you know it really won't i tell you what think of charles boyer yes now you must have seen him in that film i've got a garbo i didn't see him in there but i did see him in the garden of allah with uh what's in there martin dietrich yeah it's rather similar sort Of thing they're all foreign now look [Music] try to remember something that he said from it yes it's a pity not to get the accent right you know because that that costume looks very romantic come with me to the casper [Music] come with me to the casper that's what he said oh i see [Laughter] [Music] you know you said that rather well thank you thank you very much let's have a little encouragement you know hello think come with me to the caspar yes and say aliens should be crushed never to rise again oh no so that's ridiculous is that that possibly going to help the War effort don't you see that by performing this pageant throughout the town for war weapons week we shall not be getting money for the war effort but we've been spreading some vape powerful propaganda and propaganda is the key note in modern warfare now come on let's get on with the rehearsal right right right along ready to stop walk up go ahead [Music] i am john ball the fighting spirit of england what about scotland what about [Music] i am john bull the fighting spirit of scotland ireland and wales and the isle of wight i shall tell you again i am the spirit of agriculture and i am the spirit of commerce in britain illiterate rubbish throughout the ages many tyrants have Cut their foreign beady greedy eyes on england's green and pleasant land 55 bc julius caesar come on [Music] england should be crushed never to rise again oh that's no good at all there was an intellectual who's producing this you or me we just do it What do you think of them england shall be crushed never to rise again those rotten romans shall not pass those rotten romans did not pass [Music] rotten romans what do you think of this raiding romans raiding germany those raging rovers shall not pass those raving romans did not pass they went missing but could you possibly tell me what time You think you'll be getting to napoleon two thousand years of history before we get to you all right you've been beaten gotham get down into a cowering position one thousand years have passed [Music] as one band reached hundreds of [Music] 1066 william the conqueror [Music] [Applause] england shall be crushed never to rise again those nasty normans shall not pass those nasty norman did not pass lasted i never wrote nasty doormen the fairest normans the fairies no i can never wrap me tongue round that sir all right i'll tell you what i'll just do the gong again [Music] sorry sorry it's all right All right so many kind of help all right fraser tower i'm not current for anybody but you know i don't think this is you know quite historically accurate you know both julius caesar and william the conqueror one we don't want any of that sort of talk here wilson anyway from now on they all lost and later if that's where he is just plain on the topic 500 years have passed 1588 king philip of spain fight fight what are you doing just like that you look like eddie can turn the kids on straight it's a costume they gave me it's all right isn't it spanish all right get on with it kingland shall be crushed never to rise again those stuffy spanish cannot pass because selfish spanish did not pass What's all this soppy spanish why do you alter everything spurious no i made him change that mr manner and every time he said spurious spaniards i used to get soaked through yeah but never mind that's what i wrote and that's what i wanted to say go on say it though spurious spanish cannot pass [Music] so i haven't finished those spirits Spanish did not pass oh see what i mean sir [Music] 227 years have passed and 27 1815 fifteen napoleon border parts come with me to the casper [Music] come with me to the castle welcome come on get on with it i got it right nearly uh come on come with me and be crushed in The casper [Music] should i do my little carrying bits now yes yes the heavens throughout the ages many men of guile have fought to get their hands upon the scepter isle they tried but they did not succeed we get what you do that is a mistake i'm sorry they tried but they did not succeed because they were up against

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The Boy Who Saved England Date 1995 06 03

sipero — Wed, 15 Sep 2021 10:15:03 GMT

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Things That Go Bump in the Night Series 6 Episode 6

sipero — Wed, 15 Sep 2021 16:15:01 GMT

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The Coward Date 1969 12 26

sipero — Wed, 15 Sep 2021 22:15:00 GMT

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Battle of the Giants! Part 1 Series 4 Episode 14

sipero — Thu, 16 Sep 2021 04:15:02 GMT

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Battle of the Giants! Part 2 Series 4 Episode 14

sipero — Thu, 16 Sep 2021 10:15:00 GMT

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Not

sipero — Tue, 05 Jul 2022 00:30:48 GMT

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Present Arms Christmas Special Episode 21

sipero — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 14:30:06 GMT

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Command Decision Series 1 Episode 3

sipero — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 08:38:03 GMT

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Getting the Bird Series 2 Episode 34

sipero — Thu, 19 Aug 2021 14:19:46 GMT

we present arthur lowe, john measure and clive dunn in dad's army, [ Applause, ], getting the bird featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guests, frank williams and larry. Martin. Here is the news, and this is john snyder reading it. As the nazi menace continues, its ruthless repression of western Europe and its armies in the east keep up their relentless progress towards moscow. It seems that the fate of the civilized world hangs in the balance, while in a quiet corner of england in a little butcher shop. Lance corporal jack jones, stalwart of the wilmington on sea home guard poses this vital question. Will you have scrag end or brisket miss? Well, i've got three books this time my brother's on leave from the army. Have I Got enough for a joint? Well, not unless you take brisket as cheap, you see so you get more of it. Oh, but of course it's tougher, oh, but then, if you has cutlets, there's less of it, but it's more toothsome, oh um i'll have cutlets! Then I haven't got any. If you haven't got any woodley blathering on about them far, no don't be impatient. Mr fraser there's a war on. You know I'll. Tell you what how about some champions? Oh they'll! Do then i'd like to feed my brother up? If I can, he was at dunkirk. You know oh dunkirk, was he well in that case i'll? Let you have two sausages? Oh thank you. I didn't get any sausages, mr jones. Well, you wasn't that dumb kirk were you, mr godfrey? No, my sister made some upside down cakes for those gallon boys and roll bandages. Well, i'm sorry, you can't have sausages for bandages and cutting Cakes. You know i've got to draw the line somewhere. Take three and seven, please doris hard ever so! Mr jones i'll see you next week now. What can I do for you, mr fraser? I didn't have any corn beef last week, so i've come for it. No, we should have come this morning. Mr fraser, look, that's all. I've got look just a few bits. Gosh they're just crumbs, i'm not paying the Sliced rate for a lot of crumbs well, for, let's see now i'll tell you what you can have the lot for sixpence right done. Uh have you have you heard about sergeant wilson? No, what about him? This is not to be found. He hasn't been at the bank all day now, as you very well know, I can stand gossip and little title of any kind, but it's my belief that there has been a rift in the loot, Who's loot. Mrs bike salute y'all fool: oh dear poor, mr wilson funny you mentioned that mr fraser, as I was coming out of the library with the new ethelene del romance of my sister, I saw him in alexander gardens with a girl really, mr godfrey. I knew it there's a woman at the bottom of it. He had his arm around her, but I i'm sure there's nothing in it. Oh every young man there's depravity in every line of his face. It's About the ruin of him. He's run amok, not mr wilson. Now surely no look out! Here's walker, not a word to a soul junction! You can rely on me all in all. Ah hello, hello! What's all this in the three wise men yeah, just a minute! No use you coming around here, joe you're, not registered with me in any way. It's closing time how about a nice bit of rabbit, jonesy you'll be lucky. I haven't even seen a Rabbit for six weeks. You have now there, oh blimey, that's all right! Dear does shane have to be killed, they look so pretty hopping about in the fields. Where did you get it joe? It's bugs bunny.

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Dad's Army A Wilson. Manager Series 2 Episode 39

sipero — Sun, 15 Aug 2021 10:25:53 GMT

we present arthur lowe, john, the measurer and i've done in dad's arbit, a wilson manager featuring john larry, arnold ridley, or dean lavender. With this week's guests, edward sinclair, michael knowles and fraser carr. Here is the news, and this is jon snag reading it. The drone of enemy aircraft continues to infest the skies over southern england, but by the summer of 1941, the british people have learned to live with. Hitler's continual bombing raids and a dash to the shelter has become just another part of their daily routine. At warrington on sea, the manager of swallows back, mr mannering is in his office at the start of another day of commerce good morning, mr man, oh good morning pack, is that today's post, yes, sir, actually there's only two letters and they're Both marked delayed by enemy Action, oh yeah, by the way where's wilson, it's nearly quarter past nine - I don't know mr mandarin or perhaps he's been captured. What well a nazi paratrooper could have landed during the night hidden himself and then captured uncle arthur on his way to work, stupid boy answer that william, yes, sir, Hello, swallows bank, no i'm not the manager. Would you hold on a moment please, mr mandarin? It's a long distance from london, but I know too no. I should take off. Yes, thank you. [ Music, ], hello, mannering, here ah good morning, bannering west here, head office, oh good morning, Sir! Well I won't waste time mannering. This call is expensive. I just wanted to tell you that I shall be able to send you anyone to replace mr wilson for several weeks, so you'll just have to manage as best you can replay. I'm sorry, I don't think I understand. I said I can't send you anyone to replace wilson for several weeks. Why where's he going. What are you talking about where's? He going. You know as well as I do he's taking over as manager at our eastgate branch manager at eastgate. That's right! He put him for the post months ago. Didn't he tell you well, I wrote to you fully about his letter weeks ago. Well, I didn't get it. It must have been one of the letters that was destroyed in an air raid anyhow. You'll just have to carry on as best you can don't forget. There's a war on i'll Keep in touch goodbye, bye, good lord! I don't believe this wilson manager at escape. Yes, what is it captain bailey from ghq is here to see you, sir very well pack sherman, please wonder what he wants come in captain bailey, sir. Thank you mike good morning, sam Good morning, mandarin. Please sit down! Oh dear thanks, i'm in a bit of a hurry, I just popped in to tell you that sergeant wilson's commission has come through commission. Yes, captain square wants him to take up his duties with the escape platoon as soon as possible. The escape platoon is, I expect to miss him all the same. You couldn't expect him to stay with a warming splatoon, but he's going to be living over at eastgate. No, no, I suppose not well. I must be off by the way. Have you decided yet who you're going to promote in this place? No, not yet well. Let me know, as soon as you can, I must say, sergeant wilson deserves his promotion. He's a good champ congratulating bobby, won't talk, cheerio goodbye, wilson Manager and an officer well's gone mad. I'm sure I i shall wake up in a minute find us all in a very bad dream. Oh now, what come in excuse me, captain mandarin, but while you were with captain bailey, the vicar called in, he left a message. Don't tell me, wilson's gon na be made the archbishop of canterbury. No, he didn't even say who's being Considered. That's a relief anyway. What did he want? Then? Apparently, there's been a mix-up in the bookings for the church hall tonight. Oh, don't worry well he's double booked, there's our parade and the warmington buffalo's annual beetle drive he'd like us to cancel this evening's parade. Oh, very well, i'm in no mood to grapple with the vicar as soon as you've got time. Pack you Better get on your bicycle and go around to all the members of the platoon tell them that the parade is cancelled tonight. Yes, mr man, oh and i've written out the platoon orders as soon as miss king has a moment. I want the typed and duplicated right, mr mandarin, good morning, mr smithers good morning, mr wilson, ah there he is, you can go pike very good. Mr manny morning, aunt laughter good morning, [ Music, ] frank morning, sir a lovely day. Isn't it what time do you call this wilson? Well, I make it um 20 to 10. So I think that's right. Where have you been well? Actually, sir, i've been doing a bit of shopping. I went to bloxson's the military outfitter in eastbourne to buy myself a new hat. That's me i'll uh i'll show you Yeah. How do you like it? It's for officers only of course, of course, when I i bought some of these uh pip things to go on my epaulettes.

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Dad's Army War Dance Series 2 Episode 32

sipero — Mon, 16 Aug 2021 09:50:40 GMT

Represent arthur lowe, john messer and clive dunn in dad's armor war, dance featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest, larry martin, pearl, hackney and wendy richard here is the news, and this is jon, snag reading it. The threat of nazi aggression hangs ever present over britain as hitler attempts to break this island's indomitable spirit, Although many things have had to be rationed. Love is still free. At warrington on sea frank pike, the junior clerk at swallows bank is laying out the morning's post in the manager's office. There is a lady sweet and kind buzz. Never faced so, please my mind. I did but see her past like I didn't think we don't think we want any more of that. Thank you. Sorry, mr man, you know I didn't hear you Come in, i'm not surprised anyway, you will learn to grow older pike, but the bank manager's office is no place for singing. I'm sorry, mr man, rain monitor money frank morning. What's up class huh before I forget, I met jones just now. I'd rather gather the men are quite keen on the idea you put up at last night's parade. The home guard dancer. Yes, yes, I think they were a little surprised as well kind of think of it. So was I i Don't see why you know what they say all work and no play check nobody's stupid boy anyway, a dance like this will make the wives and sweethearts feel that they're part of the grand effort makes them feel that we're all pulling in the Same direction, we will be able to bring a friend in sir, of course you will who do you have in mind frank one of your old boy scout friends, no, sir, A girl, a girl, oh well! That's what dances are for us move, discuss it with popple jones he'll, be in charge of the invitation. Oh, thank you, sir i'll bring in the coffee in a minute right. Next bike. There is a lady swimming pike pike. I forgot. I'm sorry, you know wilson. I'm far from satisfied with that boy's work lately never stops humming. Well, I i think he's just happy, sir. Obviously people don't expect it wilson. Mr jameson Was quite put out yesterday. He came about his mortgage. Didn't he, sir? Yes, pike showed him into the office singing buddy. Can you spare a dime? I think perhaps he is letting his thoughts dwell too much on his private life. Yo don't be absurd, doesn't have a private life. Mr boy, well, he's 19. Sir. I mean he goes out with an axe - that's very wise, it's quite chilly in the evenings. Oh no! No! No! No! An 80s girl! Good heavens! Hmm! You want to put a stop to that. Wilson, never know where they've come from yeah well, she's, a local girl! Actually so she's uh she's on leave and her name is violet gibbons gibbons. Yes, I know that girl, her mother, used to clean for us twice a week obliging us. She used to call it well now her daughter's obliging frank that girl used to work at the fish shop. Didn't she that's the answer? Yes, oh, no, Not the right sort of background at all wilson. What does his mother say? She doesn't know you will have to speak to a muslim. Well, why me boy hasn't, got a father, you've known his mother, a long time you're the next best thing yeah! Well, I just because she keeps my ration book. I mean I don't see why I have to act like a dutch uncle to prank. You know you worry me. Sometimes you'd do anything rather than face your responsibilities, you just won't grow up. Will you well? I mean you're, not a middle-aged chief clerk at all you're, a peter pan. I'm really sorry, I don't know how you ever expect to get your own branch well. Be that, as it may say, frank pike is not my responsibility. Well, i'm sure a lot of People will be very pleased to hear that what you, what do you mean by that? Well not of my business. This is a very small town, wilson tongueswag, you know people put two and two together. You and mrs pike arrived in the town about the same time, both from western superman. Somebody look at pike in a certain light. There are resemblances whole ideas. I've raised it I mean mavis would have mentioned it. Yes, right, i'm sure it's just idle gossip. At the same time, I think a word to the boy would come best from you. Well, I suppose I could chat to him brought you copy, mr manreen. Thank you wilson. Thank you. Oh pike. I have a meeting with the dance committee in the church hall. So don't take any appointments for me after three o'clock, very good, sir right man Now we're all busy men going about our essential work, as well as being ever alert to defend our beloved land, and I therefore propose that we share the organization of the function and Each be responsible for one aspect of operation dance. I would like to second that, mr mandarin.

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The Recruit Series 3 Episode 59

sipero — Mon, 23 Aug 2021 10:23:00 GMT

Oh, we present our fellow John, the measure and Clive Dunn in Dad's Army. He, the recruit featuring John Lori, Arnold really pioneered lavender with this week's guest. Bill. Pertwee, Frank Williams, Edward Sinclair, Larry, Martin and Elizabeth Morgan. . Here is the news that Mrs John snag: reading it. The war which started in Europe has, with the entry of America and Japan, assumed worldwide proportions from the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli. The conflict spreads. , The fighting is fierce. The casualties high One indirect casualty of war is Captain Mannering, who is in a private room at Warrington on sees Cottage Hospital receiving the ministrations of a pretty young nurse. . Just let me straighten your pillows a bit. Mr Mannering. Have you Thank goodness. ? How are your feet feeling now Throbbing a bit from time to time, but I'm grinning and bearing it. ? That's the spirit. Guess what We've got some visitors to cheer you up. ? Oh, not, Mrs Mannering. ! No, no no. ! It's two Gentlemen. You can come in now. He's quite respectable. . Can I do you now, sir? Oh very good jobs Way? How are you, Sir Wilson? You can stay until the bell goes. . Thank you so much. It was awfully sweet of you to show us the way. . That's quite all! Right sir. , I must say that uniform really does things for you. . Thank you, sir. Thank you. . Yes, that's what it is. . I guess the belt is the belt. . It makes your waist look. Positive. Retirement, Oh, doesn't really! That will be all. . Thank you. Know. Yes, Mr Mannering Wilson. , It was me you came to see, wasn't it Besides, that nurse has got work to do. Attending the sink hasn't got time to listen to you playing Ronald Colman, only being friendly. . I brought these for you, sir, Must be kind of a journal. . Very kind. : What is it Great. ? Scott Grapes. ? I haven't seen these since 1939. . Well, they're, not real grapes. , We impersonated them out of electric light flex and shave gooseberries. . You see we're used to cooking bright because the juicy red desert once kept squashing all over your office. Desk. , Yes, we had a lot of trouble. Shade with the fur off them. Ghouls Beasts with Mr Fraser found a very, very special piece of fine glass paper uses to finish off his Coffins with very thoughtful of you. . As a matter of fact, I have received some fruit from Mrs Mannering. Is it? Is it this this apple? Yes, that's it. With with a get well card fast into it. . Isn't that nice? What does it say The Anderson shelter is leaking again? Yes, it will have to wait until I get back. , I'm afraid. By the way. How did How did your operation go? Ah now I wanted to have a word with you Wilson about that in Private. Jones. Don't you mind just popping out of the room for a moment Me, sir, Have something rather person I wish to say to Sergeant Wilson. Of course. Of course. No. Wilson outside now sir. . Yes, thank you. . As I was saying, I've asked terms to go outside I'll. Just be outside. So see Not quite in earshot. Yes. . Thank you, Jones. . Now, Wilson, I've asked us to pop out, because I thought you ought to see my feet. , Why I think it's important that you should understand the full implications of this whole affair. So if you will just pull the blankets off. All right. There, we are sir. . Well, what do you think of My big toes? Oh, my dear, they do look nasty right, now. , It's my contention Wilson, but this is due entirely to active service. . What Well in growing toenails precisely. , No doubt about it at all. , It's those long hours on duty. . My toes will never be quite the same again. You know. Are you going to put in for a disability Pension? Oh, no, no no.

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Mum's Army Series 2 Episode 33

sipero — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 04:15:01 GMT

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Battle of the Giants! Part 1 Series 4 Episode 14

sipero — Thu, 16 Sep 2021 04:15:02 GMT

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Dont Fence Me in Series 2 Episode 35

sipero — Thu, 09 Sep 2021 02:00:02 GMT

We present arthelene john, the metro and clive dunn in dead zabe, don't fence me in featuring john laurie, arnold ridley and ian lavender with this week's guest, larry martin, subtle, chaps and john ringham. Here is the news, and this is john snyder reading it. Germany continues to wage war against britain, as hitler persists in his ceaseless endeavor to bring this country to its knees. The home guard Continues to do valuable jobs in all sorts of ways. It is saturday morning and captain mannering and his platoon are out in the country. Five miles from the headquarters at warmington on sea, I pay attention. I realize that you must all be wondering what we're doing out here in the middle of nowhere. The mr speaks up yes jones. I just wanted to say sir you're quite correct, sir, about what we are wondering. Thank you. The fact is. We have been detailed to provide a relief guard at the prison of war camp located just beyond those trees. Regular army camp guards haven't had leave for months. So we are going to take over for weekend. Excuse me, sir. Does that mean we're going To come face to face with some nazis at last no phrase: they're, not nazis, they're italians. So if hitler does kick off during the next two days, we shall not be there to stop him. We shall be playing nursemaid to a bunch of comic opera soldiers. I, like italians, I i had a week in sorrento once A week walk! That's enough! That's enough! Mr man rain, yes pack, what is it we won't have to eat italian food? Will we I don't like anything greasy. It brings me out in spots. Don't don't be silly frank what you won't have to eat italian food by the way wilson, [, Music ]. You sure this is the right place doesn't seem to be anyone about it, i'm absolutely positive, sir. How can you be So sure? Well, there's a huge great notice over there. So look see miw prisoner of war camp keep out see that sort of gave me a clue. Yes hold them in out here, right, platoon, really wilson. This is absurd. Whoever heard of a prisoner of war capital no one on guard, perhaps if we rang the doorbell, someone might come talk. Nonsense, Don't have doorbells on pow camps. Those who just have to shout mr manny i'd like to volunteer to shout. Please let me be the one to shout, so I could holler a bit as well. So i'm very good at that son. I've done a lot of hollering in my time, yeah. It's all right! We're all right! Carry on! Oh! Thank you, sir you're you're, very good to me, hello, hello, who's! Your lady Is anybody there. If you are not there say, so I don't like the look of this. Mr mannering, it's just like bogeys. What do you mean well, when the relief column reached the fort in the desert and they looked up and all the walls were lined with legionnaires and they were all dead And the captain shouted anybody there in the next minute you splat on his face in the Sand with a bullet in his brain, mr fraser, it could be electricity fired. You might get a shock if he was to climb over that while we're when he's killed, we'd all get a shot: [ Music ], sir there's someone coming out of that hut over there. So there is: what are you Going to say to him? Sir? Don't worry wilson leave this to me all right, okay, my good man. What's going on hello who is in charge here, leonon parloli? Oh, this is getting us nowhere! Anybody here speaking! Yes, sir! He does anybody. Anybody else. Speak italian. Excuse me, mr mannery, I speak a little italian, oh, oh! Well, I'll carry on kk. I said your tiny hand is frozen. Let me warm it back to life. What on earth did you say that it's the only time? I know sir, you see, I i'm very keen on opera, absurd, sir, that uh chappie has just left the gate for us. Look. Ah sorry, it has yes right. Amigo wilson, i'm gon na get to the bottom of this, as of course, you will Come with me. We'll try that hut over there, it's rather catchy. Isn't it ridiculous? It's coming from inside this hat, come on, let's go! Why are all these men lying about in their bunks just a minute? Take that confounded gramophone off? Yes, sorry, just a minute! What do you think you're Doing he met a prisoner? I know that. But surely we can still be polite, don't care whatever your name is yeah yeah. It's all right! All right, i'm not interested in all that rubbish. Don't you know that you stand up when an officer comes into the room? Why should I stand up you only capitano, you should stand for me. I am general general General. Don't start all that again now, where are the troops who are supposed to be guarding the camp? They um, they call they go. Yes, the commandant left. You a note here. It is sergeant. Thank you so much. What does it say? Uh, forgive please we go. We catch 130 train to london, otherwise We miss our end week. Leave donny worry. Well, that's what it says here. Donny worry at italian prisoners, they're quite tame. They work on farms in the week see you at 200 hours.

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